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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subiects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subiects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the comparison
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 and their favorite subjects (social
science
Use synonyms
,
Science
Use synonyms
, Language, Craft and
Sport
Fix the agreement mistake
Sports
show examples
) in two schools A and
B
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen
as a result
Linking Words
 of the comparison that
Sport
Fix the agreement mistake
Sports
show examples
 subject is the highest in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Science
Use synonyms
 is the lowest
amonge
Correct your spelling
among
 all subjects. Looking in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, in
school
Use synonyms
 A the
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 who like Sport
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 36 which is more
populer
Correct your spelling
popular
 than
students
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 only 5. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who
prefare
Correct your spelling
prefer
Science
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 A are more than
Use synonyms
school
Change preposition
in school
show examples
B
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
 A has 9
students
Use synonyms
 and
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 has 2
students
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in Craft
subject
Add a comma
subject,
show examples
 there are 25
students
Use synonyms
 from
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 and on
this
Linking Words
 as opposed to there are 4
students
Use synonyms
 from
school
Use synonyms
 A.
Also
Linking Words
, in Language
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 student's numbers from
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 are higher than
school
Use synonyms
 A.
For instance
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 has 18 and
school
Use synonyms
 A has only 5. One notable point is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Social
Science
Use synonyms
 has few
students
Use synonyms
 in both
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 A and
B
Use synonyms
 all approximately 16
students
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, students, science, b, school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • favorite subjects
  • popularity
  • comparison
  • significant differences
  • similar levels of interest
  • subject preference
  • curriculum
  • facilities
  • impact
  • trend
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