Some people believe that homework is unnecessary and shoul be banned to school

An increasing number of people believe that schools assign way too much
homework
and it is not appropriate for
students
.
While
homework
serves very important advantages, there are still some arguing points that can influence
this
kind of positive
thoughts
Fix the agreement mistake
thought
show examples
.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
I personally agree that giving
homework
is necessary for schools to manage
students
.
Homework
has some positive sides that can assist
some
Change preposition
with some
show examples
issues in life. Doing
homework
improves skills
such
as
time
management and responsibility.
For example
, if they have to do too much
homework
and they
also
have other stuff like doing a workout or playing guitar, they will have to make a schedule which fits accurately to their day.
Also
,
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
at home and reviewing information about what they learn at school develops
students
' understanding and plays the main role in any exams.
For instance
, children who do their
homework
regularly won't fail any exam, so
this
helps to improve their confidence in academic performance. Despite all these positive thoughts, assigning
homework
brings visible problems including physical and mental health.
Homework
that is
given out of order causes stress and may decrease the quality of sleep. If
students
do their
homework
in the
time
that they must be asleep, it will increase the chance of getting stressed. And the second
negativity
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negative
show examples
is that it can reduce the leisure
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
that one child can get. By doing too much
homework
, children may not be satisfied
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
their spare
time
to do their hobbies and
also
they will be likely to be bored. In conclusion, assigning
homework
has both positive and negative sides, but positive ones
such
as being responsible and
time
managing
Replace the word
management
show examples
can replace the drawbacks. And I partly believe that
homework
must be given, but in a smaller amount. Doing normal
homework
with
willing
Replace the word
willingness
show examples
can be the reason for evolution and
students
can do whatever they want after ending the
homework
.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Try to balance the arguments in your essay by giving equal weight to both positive and negative aspects. This could enhance the depth of your analysis.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a clearer logical progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next. Use linking words more effectively to guide the reader smoothly through your essay.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as linking time management skills to doing homework and hobbies to reinforce your points.
coherence cohesion
You included a clear introduction and conclusion which contributes to the overall structure of your essay.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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