Some people believe that the most fittest and strongest person and team can achieve success in sports,others believe that success depends on the mental attitude.Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion.

It is true that the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
fittest and strongest sporter and
team
can get more prizes in
competitons
Correct your spelling
competitions
,
while
good mental
attiude
Correct your spelling
attitude
also
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
an essential role in
this
process.From my perspective, I would
argued
Change the verb form
argue
show examples
that the
person
and
team
which are fit and strong enough
also
with an
optimisic
Correct your spelling
optimistic
attitude
could achieve success in sport. On the one hand,
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
suitable and strongest
person
and
team
will have better
preformence
Correct your spelling
performance
in
competitons
Correct your spelling
competitions
.Since they have physical advantages.
For example
, Chinese basketball player YaoMing is a very famous sporter.He is a talented
baskerball
Correct your spelling
basketball
player as his height
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
2.3m.He can easier to touch the basket than the others.
Thus
, he was selected to
NBA
Correct article usage
the NBA
show examples
.
The all
Remove the article
All
show examples
members
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
team
are talented players
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
YaoMing.That why their
team
can always
won
Change the verb form
win
be won
show examples
the first prize in the race.
Overall
, the fittest and strongest
sporters
shown
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
a gene benefit which
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
them
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
more
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
than others. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
,we can not overlook the crucial
roles
Fix the agreement mistake
role
show examples
of mental
attitude
.
Have
Wrong verb form
Having
show examples
a positive
attitude
can solve many urgent and failure situations.In daily
trainning
Correct your spelling
training
, high
strengh
Correct your spelling
strength
exercises and injured
phenomence
Correct your spelling
phenomena
phenomenon
are very common.
If a
Correct word choice
A
show examples
person
who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a fragile mental may feel upset and intend to give up,
whereas
if
person
with
a
Change the article
an
show examples
optimistic
attitude
,
they try
Wrong verb form
tries
show examples
their best to find
the
Change the word
their
show examples
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
show examples
and do more
trainning
Correct your spelling
training
to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
progress.In
this
process, they keep
rebuild
Change the verb form
rebuilding
show examples
their confidence.Meanwhile, when they
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
stronger
sporters
in
competitons
Correct your spelling
competitions
, they do not feel nervous but let them
clam
Correct your spelling
calm
show examples
down to best performance
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
. In conclusion,we need
pay
Fix the infinitive
to pay
show examples
more attention to
tranning
Correct your spelling
training
the fittest and strongest
sporters
' positive
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
,which means
combine
Change the form of the verb
combining
show examples
the physical and mental advantages together.
Consequently
, the
sporters
can have more
opportunies
Correct your spelling
opportunities
to achieve
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
in the race.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance your essay's coherence and cohesion, consider refining the transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs. This will help in guiding the reader smoothly from one argument or idea to the next. A clearer structuring of your argument can enhance the logical flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
To fully achieve the task, ensure that your ideas and arguments are well-developed. Consider dedicating more attention to the analysis and examples that illustrate the roles of fitness and mental attitude in achieving success in sports. Expanding these points will enrich your discussion.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both perspectives, emphasizing the importance of both physical fitness and mental attitude in achieving success in sports. This balanced approach is commendable.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction effectively outlines the main argument, setting the stage for a well-rounded discussion. Similarly, the conclusion ties back to the introduction, which creates a sense of completeness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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