Some people believe that the most fittest and strongest person and team can achieve success in sports,others believe that success depends on the mental attitude.Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion.

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It is true that the
most
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apply
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fittest and strongest sporter and
team
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can get more prizes in
competitons
Correct your spelling
competitions
,
while
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good mental
attiude
Correct your spelling
attitude
also
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play
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plays
show examples
an essential role in
this
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process.From my perspective, I would
argued
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argue
show examples
that the
person
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and
team
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which are fit and strong enough
also
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with an
optimisic
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optimistic
attitude
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could achieve success in sport. On the one hand,
most
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the most
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suitable and strongest
person
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and
team
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will have better
preformence
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performance
in
competitons
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competitions
.Since they have physical advantages.
For example
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, Chinese basketball player YaoMing is a very famous sporter.He is a talented
baskerball
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basketball
player as his height
almost
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is almost
show examples
2.3m.He can easier to touch the basket than the others.
Thus
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, he was selected to
NBA
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the NBA
show examples
.
The all
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All
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members
in
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of
show examples
this
Linking Words
team
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are talented players
as
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like
show examples
YaoMing.That why their
team
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can always
won
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win
be won
show examples
the first prize in the race.
Overall
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, the fittest and strongest
sporters
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shown
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showed
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a gene benefit which
lead
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led
show examples
them
have
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to have
show examples
more
confident
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confidence
show examples
than others. On the other
hands
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hand
show examples
,we can not overlook the crucial
roles
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role
show examples
of mental
attitude
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.
Have
Wrong verb form
Having
show examples
a positive
attitude
Use synonyms
can solve many urgent and failure situations.In daily
trainning
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training
, high
strengh
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strength
exercises and injured
phenomence
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phenomena
phenomenon
are very common.
If a
Correct word choice
A
show examples
person
Use synonyms
who
have
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has
show examples
a fragile mental may feel upset and intend to give up,
whereas
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if
person
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with
a
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an
show examples
optimistic
attitude
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,
they try
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tries
show examples
their best to find
the
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their
show examples
weakness
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weaknesses
show examples
and do more
trainning
Correct your spelling
training
to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
progress.In
this
Linking Words
process, they keep
rebuild
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rebuilding
show examples
their confidence.Meanwhile, when they
facing
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face
show examples
stronger
sporters
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in
competitons
Correct your spelling
competitions
, they do not feel nervous but let them
clam
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calm
show examples
down to best performance
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
. In conclusion,we need
pay
Fix the infinitive
to pay
show examples
more attention to
tranning
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training
the fittest and strongest
sporters
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' positive
Use synonyms
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
,which means
combine
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combining
show examples
the physical and mental advantages together.
Consequently
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, the
sporters
Use synonyms
can have more
opportunies
Correct your spelling
opportunities
to achieve
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
in the race.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance your essay's coherence and cohesion, consider refining the transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs. This will help in guiding the reader smoothly from one argument or idea to the next. A clearer structuring of your argument can enhance the logical flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
To fully achieve the task, ensure that your ideas and arguments are well-developed. Consider dedicating more attention to the analysis and examples that illustrate the roles of fitness and mental attitude in achieving success in sports. Expanding these points will enrich your discussion.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both perspectives, emphasizing the importance of both physical fitness and mental attitude in achieving success in sports. This balanced approach is commendable.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction effectively outlines the main argument, setting the stage for a well-rounded discussion. Similarly, the conclusion ties back to the introduction, which creates a sense of completeness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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