Moden children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevelent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

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In recent years,

childhood

obesity

has become a serious issue, with modern

children

increasingly suffering from conditions once seen only in adults.

This

trend is primarily driven by two major factors: lifestyle changes and dietary

habits

However

, there are

also

practical steps that can be taken to mitigate

this

issue. One significant cause of

childhood

obesity

is the shift towards a sedentary lifestyle. With the rise of technology,

children

now spend considerable time on screens, whether for entertainment or social interaction.

As a result

, they are less physically active, which reduces their energy expenditure.

Additionally

, many

children

have limited access to safe outdoor spaces,

further

discouraging active play. The combination of these factors means they burn fewer calories, which contributes directly to weight gain. Dietary

habits

are another key contributor. Modern diets are often high in processed foods, sugars, and unhealthy fats, which are both easily accessible and heavily marketed towards

children

. These foods not only increase calorie intake but

also

lack essential nutrients, making them a poor dietary choice. Over time, poor eating

habits

lead to excessive weight gain and other related health issues. To address

childhood

obesity

, it is essential for parents, schools, and governments to work together.

Firstly

, parents should encourage regular physical activity by limiting screen time and promoting outdoor play. Schools can contribute by offering healthy meal options and incorporating physical education with adequate frequency into the curriculum.

Furthermore

, governments can regulate

advertising

Correct article usage

the advertising

show examples

of unhealthy foods targeted at

children

and provide guidelines on balanced diets. In conclusion,

while

childhood

obesity

is a complex issue, it can be tackled through a combined approach focusing on lifestyle, dietary changes, and supportive policies, ultimately promoting healthier

habits

for future generations.

Submitted by thesisabri on Tue Oct 29 2024

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task achievement

The essay covers the causes and solutions effectively, but consider providing more specific examples, such as statistics or case studies, to further strengthen the arguments.

coherence cohesion

Use transition words or phrases more frequently to enhance the flow between arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and comprehensive introduction and conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.

coherence cohesion

Coherent structure with logical flow of ideas, making it easy to follow the argument presented.

task achievement

Complete response to the task with relevant examples and clear explanation of causes and solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

282 words

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Moden children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevelent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

Fully explain your ideas

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut subjects such as arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subject such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction for all workers? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share the same advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of these fashions

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages?