In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, more young
people
have chosen to
work
after they finish high school
instead
of attending university.
This
trend has more drawbacks than
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
advantages.
This
essay will discuss the possible advantages and disadvantages of
this
trend.  Nowadays, enrolling in
work
life has become more popular for young
people
. One main factor for
this
action is to be more independent. And move out to their own flat.
Also
, they are eager to buy their own things;
therefore
,
this
trend will teach them
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
an early
age
how to be responsible.
In addition
to self-reliance.
For example
, my uncle moved at the
age
of 17 to another city to follow his dream job. And he learned essential practical skills
such
as
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
and teamwork.
This
highlights that young
people
can learn a lot from
this
experience.
While
having a job at a young
age
offers some benefits,
such
as self-reliance,  it
also
has some disadvantages.
Such
as a high level of anxiety and pressure on them. They are prone to suffer at
work
or in their social life. Because they lack experience and knowledge.
Moreover
, they will struggle to find a stable job after they finish training.
For instance
, a survey in Japan found that 71% of
people
who
work
at a young
age
suffer from anxiety and depression. And they are most likely to fail and go back to studying. Because there are no vacancies for them.
This
suggested
Wrong verb form
suggests
show examples
that having a college degree will offer you more opportunities. In conclusion,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
working at an early
age
offers some benefits,
such
as self-reliance, It
also
has drawbacks like anxiety and depression.
Therefore
, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh
any
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
advantages.
Submitted by reem.rz112 on

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task achievement
Provide a more balanced argument by considering both advantages and disadvantages equally.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions for better flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively presenting the topic.
task achievement
Relevant examples are included, particularly the story about your uncle, which strengthens your arguments.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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