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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions the world during the 1990s.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions the world during the 1990s.
#land #three #regions #world
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The graphic chart gives information about the main causes of
worldwid
Correct your spelling
worldwide
 land degradation
as well as
 it shows around three
quart
Change to a plural noun
quarts
show examples
 are well-defined. The table illustrates the ratio percentages of land degradation by region around the world.
Overall
, the pie chart
provides
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 the first spot is
find
Verb problem
apply
show examples
over-grazing is the most notable issue at 35%, in second place
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deforestation at 30%, followed the over-cultivation and
finally
 with a small fraction
other
Change preposition
of other
show examples
 unknown
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 at 7%.
On the other hand
, the grad compares the different causes of land degradation between
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 regions,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
 Europe shows a
larg
Correct your spelling
large
 portion mainly in deforestation at 9.8% in
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with the other two regions but
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
 in over-grazing.
Nevertheless
Add a comma
Nevertheless,
show examples
 Europe takes the
firts
Correct your spelling
first
 position in the total ranking. Despite Oceania
has
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 an insignificant over-cultivation number takes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place and
Finally
 in third place
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 North America. In a nutshell, the dates
indicates
Change the verb form
indicate
show examples
 the
sames
Correct your spelling
same
 problems
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a different impact
depend
Change the form of the verb
depending
show examples
 on the region.
Submitted by fetani on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Agricultural productivity
  • Deforestation
  • Over-cultivation
  • Overgrazing
  • Soil erosion
  • Nutrient depletion
  • Land degradation
  • Soil compaction
  • Fertility
  • Preventive measures
  • Sustainable farming practices
  • Environmental impact
  • Economic implications
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