Some people think that children should be raised by all family members like grandparents, uncles and aunts and not just parents. Discuss both side and give your opinion?
As a part of society, we tend to live with our family where we
born
and brought up by our Add a missing verb
are born
parents
and family members. Some people think that family member
can contribute to Fix the agreement mistake
members
bring
up the Change the verb form
bringing
children
along with
their parents
. In my opinion, for a children
upbringing Change noun form
child's
besides
his or her parents
the relatives also
play a vital role.
There is a proverb which says, it takes a village to raise a child
. Without any doubt, parents
are the most important factor in a children
upbringing. Change noun form
child's
Besides
if their relatives like grand
Correct your spelling
grandparents
parents
, uncles and aunts can help the parents
to raise them , then
sometimes the parents
also
get some time for themselves. If the parents
are woriking
Correct your spelling
worrying
then
they need to keep their children
in the day care
or with Correct your spelling
daycare
nanny
. But if Add an article
the nanny
a nanny
grand
Correct your spelling
grandparents
parents
live nearby then
they can take care of them in the absence of their parents
, which is obviously a better idea keeping
their Change preposition
than keeping
children
in other places. The parents
dont
have to worry about the food for the Correct your spelling
don't
children
as they are in the safe hands. Also
the Add a comma
Also,
children
will learn the realtionship
value and respect and social value will grow towards the family Correct your spelling
relationship
memebers
, if they spend time with them. The elder's love and care will have an impact on them in the near future. Correct your spelling
members
Also
they will learn how to respect the elder person.
Add a comma
Also,
On the other hand
, some drawback
are there. If family members are toxic Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
then
there will be a problem. Because children
will learn different manner
which will not good for them in the future. Fix the agreement mistake
manners
And as
a Correct word choice
As
child
, they always copy or follow the
Change the word
their
elder
. In that Fix the agreement mistake
elders
case
Add a comma
case,
parents
are not comfortable to keep
their Change the verb form
keeping
children
with them. Because every
parent has a dream that their Correct word choice
Every
child
will be better as a person and they dont
want any negative impact on their Correct your spelling
do not
child
.
In conclusion, its
a better idea to raise Replace the word
it's
it is
children
along with
the relatives like grand
Correct your spelling
grandparents
parents
and they need to check on them on a regular basis.Submitted by raisasd on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion.
coherence cohesion
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task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, successfully addressing the task response criterion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.