Researchers show that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, advertising for food products should be banned in the same way as the cigarette advertising is banned in many countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#researchers #show #food #products #cigarette #countries

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Overeating has been one of the serious problems in some developed countries nowadays.

According to

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some research, we find that over 90 per cent of developed countries in the world have been facing the problem of overeating. In response to

this

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situation, some people state that we need to ban advertising for

food

Use synonyms

products in the same way as cigarette advertising.

This

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essay considers

this

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statement and gives the author's opinion. First and foremost, eating itself is not so much unhealthy as smoking. The points are what we eat and how much amount of

food

Use synonyms

we have. Even if they are healthy diets, eating too much of them will cause several problems

such

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as high blood pressure and the rise of sugar in our blood.

While

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smoking will directly lead to worsening public health, eating does not necessarily make health issues happen immediately.

Therefore

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, I think that stopping

food

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companies from advertising their items is an extreme option.

In addition

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, there are a great number of companies selling

food

Use synonyms

products in the world.

Thus

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, banning advertising

such

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products in the same way as cigarette advertisements will have a negative impact on not only those companies but

also

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the world's economy. In

this

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sense, I strongly disagree with the idea that we should restrict their marketing process. Rather, each local authority must introduce lessons about their diets to their citizens.

Moreover

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, they can promote

food

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donations for those who cannot get enough

food

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because of a lack of money.

To sum up

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, the issue of

overeating

Correct your spelling

overheating

show examples

in some developed countries has been getting serious.

However

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, banning the marketing of

food

Use synonyms

items is an extreme option. Each society needs to think of creating opportunities for its citizens to reconsider their way of having

food

Use synonyms

Submitted by m.kiyosu1997 on Tue Oct 29 2024

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Task Achievement

Consider including more specific examples or data to illustrate your points clearly. This would enhance your arguments and make them more persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph connects logically to the next, perhaps with clearer transitional phrases. This would help maintain a smooth flow of ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that clearly outline your stance on the topic.

Task Achievement

Your ideas are generally expressed clearly, showing good control of language.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Researchers show that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, advertising for food products should be banned in the same way as the cigarette advertising is banned in many countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the past important knowledge of culture and history was stored in the museums. Nowadays information is freely available on the internet therefore is no need of museums. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons.Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.