The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of Jeans for two companies next year in Turkey.The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in Jeans at the end of next year.

The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of Jeans for two companies next year in Turkey.The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in Jeans at the end of next year.
The provided bar chart indicates the predicted jeans revenues of two Turkey
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
(
Mango
Co
. and Jack &
Jones
Co
.) in the next twelve
months
period in thousands of pairs,
while
the given pie chart reveals the forecasted market share of the two mentioned corporations
as well as
others.
Overall
,
Mango
Co
. and Jack &
Jones
Co
. will grow their numbers over the course of twelve
months
,
although
Jack &
Jones
Co
. is estimated to have more sales in general. Other corporations will dominate the next year's market share. Jack &
Jones
Co
. will start at nearly 450, and the figure
initially
drops by approximately half in February. In March and after, it will continuously rise until the end of the period by twice the number
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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of January at 900. On the other way,
Mango
Co
. will be accounted for around 150 in Jan, and constantly grow to outnumber the first company in June - August. In September it will remain static for the next 2
months
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and ends at two-thirds that of Jack &
Jones
in the
last
months
.
In addition
, It is forecasted that half of the market share will be owned by Others,
while
the rest of it will be
Mango
Co
. and Jack &
Jones
Co
. at one-fifths and 30% respectively.
Submitted by 000silr111 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words mango, co, jones, months with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • estimated sales
  • projected market share
  • dominant player
  • competition
  • consumer choice
  • pricing strategies
  • market trends
  • marketing campaigns
  • economic conditions
  • fashion trends
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