The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of Jeans for two companies next year in Turkey.The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in Jeans at the end of next year.

#bar #sales #jeans #two #companies #year #turkey #market

The provided bar chart indicates the predicted jeans revenues of two Turkey

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

(

Mango

. and Jack &

Jones

.) in the next twelve

months

period in thousands of pairs,

while

the given pie chart reveals the forecasted market share of the two mentioned corporations

as well as

others.

Overall

Mango

. and Jack &

Jones

. will grow their numbers over the course of twelve

months

although

Jack &

Jones

. is estimated to have more sales in general. Other corporations will dominate the next year's market share. Jack &

Jones

. will start at nearly 450, and the figure

initially

drops by approximately half in February. In March and after, it will continuously rise until the end of the period by twice the number

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

of January at 900. On the other way,

Mango

. will be accounted for around 150 in Jan, and constantly grow to outnumber the first company in June - August. In September it will remain static for the next 2

months

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and ends at two-thirds that of Jack &

Jones

in the

last

months

In addition

, It is forecasted that half of the market share will be owned by Others,

while

the rest of it will be

Mango

. and Jack &

Jones

. at one-fifths and 30% respectively.

Submitted by 000silr111 on Wed Oct 30 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words mango, co, jones, months with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

216 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

estimated sales
projected market share
dominant player
competition
consumer choice
pricing strategies
market trends
marketing campaigns
economic conditions
fashion trends

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The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of Jeans for two companies next year in Turkey.The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in Jeans at the end of next year.

Some people believe that the communication between family members is lesser today compared to the past. Do you agree or disgaree?

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?