IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn news. However, others believe that they can learn news better through other media. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #newspapers #news #media
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Newspapers
Use synonyms
 used to be the traditional
way
Use synonyms
 to spread
news
Use synonyms
, until the advent of social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
, which replaced the
newspaper
Use synonyms
 to get oneself updated with
news
Use synonyms
. Some people argue that
Use synonyms
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 should remain the best
way
Use synonyms
 to learn the
news
Use synonyms
, others contend that social
media
Use synonyms
 is much better.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
both
Use synonyms
 sides' opinions before tendering my own. On the one hand,
newspapers
Use synonyms
 have been widely used by several generations for periodical updating of any
news
Use synonyms
. One of the benefits of reading
newspapers
Use synonyms
 is that reading hard copies is less likely to get distracted compared with reading
news
Use synonyms
 on social
media
Use synonyms
. People can easily switch to other apps if notifications pop up
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
 reading
Use synonyms
newspaper
Correct article usage
a newspaper
show examples
 allows the readers more focused on the contents.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
newspapers
Use synonyms
 are
elderly friendly
Add a hyphen
elderly-friendly
show examples
. The elderly who are eager to learn the
news
Use synonyms
 may struggle to visit certain websites or apps using computers or phones.
As a result
Linking Words
, they are more likely to stay with
newspapers
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 are appraised for being convenient, fast and versatile. Unlike
newspapers
Use synonyms
, social
media
Use synonyms
 can be accessed anytime at any place. Readers do not need to carry
newspapers
Use synonyms
 along the
way
Use synonyms
, an electronic device will do.
Moreover
Linking Words
, someone does not need to wait for the latest
newspaper
Use synonyms
 to be published.
Instead
Linking Words
 of allowing the
news
Use synonyms
 to become stale and old, individuals can search
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 once
authors
Correct article usage
the authors
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 made it public.
Additionally
Linking Words
, social
media
Use synonyms
 displays the
news
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
graphs, texts and videos, giving users
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 of reading
news
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, when the video pertains to the
celeberation
Correct your spelling
celebration
 of
football
Add an article
a football
show examples
 team winning, the happiness and excitement are more visceral than paragraphs of
decriptions
Correct your spelling
descriptions
description
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
newspaper
Correct article usage
the newspaper
show examples
. In my opinion,
both
Use synonyms
newspaper
Use synonyms
 and social
media
Use synonyms
 get their own clients.
While
Linking Words
 some people may stick to the old
way
Use synonyms
 of learning the
news
Use synonyms
, I personally believe social
media
Use synonyms
 will substitute the traditional material in the future, just like
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
 kept phasing out the old versions. In conclusion,
both
Use synonyms
 ways of learning
news
Use synonyms
 have their advantages that the other does not equip.
While
Linking Words
 I look favourably
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 using social
media
Use synonyms
than
Change preposition
over
show examples
 reading
Use synonyms
newspaper
Correct article usage
the newspaper
show examples
, because of the speed, convenience and versatility.
Submitted by wusiying2001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure examples are detailed and specific enough to support your arguments effectively. For instance, citing specific studies or data on newspaper readership could strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a consistent use of transition words across the essay. This will enhance the flow and make the structure even clearer to readers.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which ensures a comprehensive task response.
coherence cohesion
The use of contrasting words and phrases, like 'on the one hand... on the other hand,' helps present a clear comparison.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • news coverage
  • perspectives
  • opinions
  • accessed
  • interactive
  • engaging
  • real-time
  • multimedia
  • combination
What to do next:
Look at other essays: