some people think that students should take gap year to what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The debate on whether
students
Use synonyms
should take a
year
Use synonyms
off after completing school is ongoing.
While
Linking Words
I acknowledge that a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
offers substantial advantages for
students
Use synonyms
, I contend that it
also
Linking Words
poses potential risks to their academic success. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will elaborate on both the merits and drawbacks associated with taking
this
Linking Words
time off. One prominent advantage of taking a
year
Use synonyms
off is that it allows
students
Use synonyms
to enrich their understanding of the world.
For instance
Linking Words
, travelling enables them to experience diverse cultures and sample regional cuisines.
For example
Linking Words
, young people may travel to Turkey, where they can witness cultural diversity firsthand and enjoy local dishes.
This
Linking Words
exposure broadens their perspectives.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
can allow
students
Use synonyms
to gain practical work experience. By working as office clerks,
for example
Linking Words
, they can develop not only professional experience but
also
Linking Words
critical skills like time management, which ultimately enhances their competitiveness in the job market.
However
Linking Words
, it is essential to consider that a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
may negatively impact
students
Use synonyms
' subsequent academic progress.
This
Linking Words
is because the enjoyment derived from travel can diminish their motivation to continue studying.
Additionally
Linking Words
, if they secure a well-paying job during
this
Linking Words
period, they may question the value of higher education and opt to bypass university altogether, viewing it as unnecessary.
Consequently
Linking Words
, young people may embark on their careers prematurely, foregoing their academic pursuits. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
taking a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
can be a valuable component of one’s educational journey, I strongly believe that it should be approached with careful planning.
Otherwise
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
may encounter significant challenges in their academic trajectories.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that all main points are evenly supported with examples and explanations. The examples provided in the essay are good but could be slightly more varied or detailed to cover more facets, such as the possible academic risks of a gap year.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, refining some connections between points can enhance cohesion further. It might help to explicitly tie the points in the second body paragraph back to the thesis in the introduction.
task achievement
The essay offers a clear and comprehensive response to the task with a balanced discussion of both the pros and cons of a gap year.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, with clear paragraphs dedicated to each main point.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively present, delimiting the arguments from start to finish.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: