some people think that students should take gap year to what extent do you agree?

The debate on whether
students
should take a
year
off after completing school is ongoing.
While
I acknowledge that a
gap
year
offers substantial advantages for
students
, I contend that it
also
poses potential risks to their academic success. In
this
essay, I will elaborate on both the merits and drawbacks associated with taking
this
time off. One prominent advantage of taking a
year
off is that it allows
students
to enrich their understanding of the world.
For instance
, travelling enables them to experience diverse cultures and sample regional cuisines.
For example
, young people may travel to Turkey, where they can witness cultural diversity firsthand and enjoy local dishes.
This
exposure broadens their perspectives.
Furthermore
, a
gap
year
can allow
students
to gain practical work experience. By working as office clerks,
for example
, they can develop not only professional experience but
also
critical skills like time management, which ultimately enhances their competitiveness in the job market.
However
, it is essential to consider that a
gap
year
may negatively impact
students
' subsequent academic progress.
This
is because the enjoyment derived from travel can diminish their motivation to continue studying.
Additionally
, if they secure a well-paying job during
this
period, they may question the value of higher education and opt to bypass university altogether, viewing it as unnecessary.
Consequently
, young people may embark on their careers prematurely, foregoing their academic pursuits. In conclusion,
while
taking a
gap
year
can be a valuable component of one’s educational journey, I strongly believe that it should be approached with careful planning.
Otherwise
,
students
may encounter significant challenges in their academic trajectories.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are evenly supported with examples and explanations. The examples provided in the essay are good but could be slightly more varied or detailed to cover more facets, such as the possible academic risks of a gap year.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, refining some connections between points can enhance cohesion further. It might help to explicitly tie the points in the second body paragraph back to the thesis in the introduction.
task achievement
The essay offers a clear and comprehensive response to the task with a balanced discussion of both the pros and cons of a gap year.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, with clear paragraphs dedicated to each main point.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively present, delimiting the arguments from start to finish.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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