Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do yout think this is a positive or negative development?

It is a well-established fact that
people
can buy the same products anywhere in the world, and
this
leads to the fact that the
countries
are becoming
way
more similar. I personally believe that
this
can be considered as a positive development. There are two
principle
Correct your spelling
principal
show examples
reasons for
this
. One point
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
I believe to be absolutely pivotal is the fact that
countries
can share their traditions and culture throughout the world.
Therefore
, there will be
way
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
misconceptions about the
countries
and the outlook of
people
will be
way
wider. Several examples can be brought
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
serve to illustrate
this
point. As an example,
according to
articles published nowadays, more
people
are aware of the cultures and traditions of other
countries
. Adding
further
credibility to the statement brings
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an idea of
people
who moved to another
country
and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
feel homesick. Being able to buy things that they had in their
country
can affect their mental health in a positive
way
while
getting used to a new
country
and culture. Turning to the other side of the argument pricing of exported items is always quite high, and
due to
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
some
people
cannot purchase those items.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
it is worth
to admit
Change the verb form
admitting
show examples
that sometimes the quality of the products is low, but
this
issue can be solved by reaching out the suitable authorities.
To sum up
, by taking into account all the above-mentioned reasons. I once again reaffirm my position that exporting and importing items can have
Correct article usage
a postive
show examples
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
impact on
mental
Add an article
the mental
show examples
health of
people
that moved to another
country
and are homesick,
also
it can make
people
's outlook wider.
Submitted by intiqam.hasanov on

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task achievement
Continue to enrich your essay with specific examples to support your points. This enhances the credibility of your arguments.
coherence & cohesion
Try to incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay. This can improve coherence and cohesion even further.
task achievement
Consider both sides of the argument in a balanced way. While you have provided a strong case for your view, examining counterarguments can add depth to your analysis.
coherence & cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your discussion, and your conclusion succinctly summarises your points.
coherence & cohesion
Your essay maintains a clear structure, with well-defined paragraphs that support the main theme.
task achievement
You've demonstrated a good use of specific examples to bolster your arguments, making your essay informative and persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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