Some people believe that online learning is more effective than traditional in-person classes, while others think that in-person classes are more beneficial.

There is an ongoing debate about the most effective method of learning among
students
.
While
some individuals believe that virtual learning provides better academic outcomes when compared to physical
classes
because
Change preposition
of
show examples
its flexibility and the ability of
students
to learn at their own pace, others think
otherwise
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
in-person lecturers are more beneficial because youngsters are more focused and they can
also
benefit from instant feedback with
this
type of learning. On the one hand, some think that online learning is more effective because of the flexibility in location.
Students
can learn from their comfort zones
such
as their houses, cafes or libraries which fosters a faster rate of assimilation during learning.
For example
,
in
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apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research carried out among
students
of a particular institution showed that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of them preferred distance learning
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
traditional
classes
because they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
able to
grasps
Change the verb
grasp
show examples
information faster in a more relaxed environment.
Additionally
, electronic learning allows youngsters to learn concepts based on their capabilities with the provision of class recordings. Some
students
often find it difficult to follow the flow of some lectures because of the
lecturers
Change to a genitive case
lecturer's
lecturers'
show examples
pace but with a class
record
Add a comma
record,
show examples
such
individual
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individuals
show examples
can easily go back to understand vital information after the lecture.
However
, I do not believe that these benefits
outweighs
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outweigh
show examples
the drawbacks especially when
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
focus during online
classes
.
On the other hand
, people think that in-person
classes
are more advantageous because pupils concentrate better in school than when they learn from their comfort zones . When learning from home they can be distracted by
the
Change the word
their
show examples
family or friends and
this
affects their learning.
Moreover
,
students
are prone to
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
concentration
while
using their mobile phones or computers to listen to lectures because of messages prompts from their social media platforms.
For instance
, a survey carried out among undergraduates to assess their attention span in
face-to- face
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
show examples
or virtual
classes
showed that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of them concentrated better in traditional
classes
when compared to online lectures. In my
opinion
, physical
classes
provide
students
the opportunity to ask questions and get responses immediately from their lecturers. Teachers are
also
able to assess class exercises and guide
students
on ways to tackle problems better in
face-to- face
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
show examples
learning
thus
, better results are gotten from
this
type of education. In my
opinion
,
although
some people think that in-person education
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more beneficial than online learning because pupils can study in a preferred location where they can assimilate faster and can
also
learn based on their speed with
this
form of education. I am of the
opinion
that physical
classes
are more advantageous owing to the fact that teachers can respond to
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
questions immediately,
also
majority of learners tend to focus better at school when compared to electronic learning.
Submitted by ayodelesam.adebisi on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are clearly linked with appropriate connectors and reference words to enhance the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive language; strive for varied expressions throughout the essay to make it more engaging.
task response
Maintain a consistent argument throughout; some points in the conclusion were a bit repetitive from the body paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets up the debate by outlining both perspectives on online and traditional learning.
relevant specific examples
Relevantly mentioned studies and surveys to support your claims, which adds credibility to your arguments.
logical structure
Each paragraph deals with a distinct argument, effectively separating and clarifying different perspectives on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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