These days, children have easy access to home computers, tablets, and smartphones and many spend a large part of free time using these devices. Dicuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, being reachable, youngsters are overusing their
PC
, mobile phones, and tablets. Fix the agreement mistake
PCs
Although
such
devices allow them to reach information effectively, from my perspective, addictive
features of these technological tools are detrimental for young individuals, both mentally and physically.
In a world Correct article usage
the addictive
that is
rapidly globalized, obtaining knowledge has become more efortless
than ever. Owing to Correct your spelling
effortless
the
technological developments, people do not need to squander hours to turn pages. Correct article usage
apply
This
is where internet-connecting devices take part. They made every piece of information swiftly reachable. It can be easily said that these inventions have increased the level of the
intellect of all age groups, especially children. Correct article usage
apply
While
they were influenced by parents and written books previously, now, the only limit of learning is the presence of the internet. Consider a curious boy from a developing country. He can aquire
everything about the history of China, without having numerous books.
Correct your spelling
acquire
On the other hand
, computers, smartphones, or tablets are not only for learning but also
for entertainment. There are thousands of games and applications that make them accustomated
to these technological tools. Unfortunately, the entertaining Correct your spelling
accustomed
feature
of Fix the agreement mistake
features
such
devices cause serious harms
, Fix the agreement mistake
harm
such
as antisocial behaviours and obesity that comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
along with
Correct article usage
a sedentery
sedentery
Correct your spelling
sedentary
life style
. Correct your spelling
lifestyle
Additionally
, being unexperienced
, young people may not recognize the drawbacks of Correct your spelling
inexperienced
this
addiction. Take a physically disadvantaged girl as an example. If she is bullied by her friends, her smartphone will be her best friend and her social life will come to an end.
In conclusion, even though PC
and mobile phones are educative, as they are addictive, they can pose a threat to young people's mental and physical health.Fix the agreement mistake
PCs
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task achievement
Ensure that all points raised are addressed with equal depth. While your essay highlights significant issues around technology addiction, more discussion on the benefits could balance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Aim to enhance paragraph transitions to improve the logical flow of your essay. Clear links between ideas will strengthen your coherence.
language use
Improve the range of vocabulary and sentence structures used to more effectively express your ideas.
task achievement
You clearly identify both advantages and disadvantages of children having easy access to digital devices, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant and specific examples, such as the curious boy and the physically disadvantaged girl, to illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion, contributing to overall coherence.