Practice 2: Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#practice #people #government #money #care #education

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The prosperity of a nation depends upon the policies made by

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

government. It is a common belief among

few

Correct determiner usage

some

show examples

individuals that the administration should contribute more funds to look after the old people

while

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that the money should be spent

to educate

Change preposition

on educating

show examples

teenagers. In my opinion, I personally believe that a good amount of funds could

be share

Change the verb form

be shared

show examples

to educate the youngsters because they are the building blocks of a country.

Young

Add an article

The young

show examples

generation can convert the misfortune of a state into a bright future. A good quality education

system

Use synonyms

would bring up children with unique ideas, and they learn different

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

that are beneficial for their practical life.

For instance

Linking Words

, Finland has spent a lot on their education,

therefore

Linking Words

, they have the best education

system

Use synonyms

around

Change preposition

show examples

the world.

Such

Linking Words

students would be able to establish companies and firms that are helpful

for

Change preposition

show examples

their economy. The

system

Use synonyms

should invest

Change preposition

show examples

educating their young masses that would be fruitful for the nation.

On the other hand

Linking Words

Oldage

Correct your spelling

old

and retired people

also

Linking Words

play a crucial part in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. We could provide basic facilities to our senior citizens, so they would live a peaceful life. Health and residential funds should be raised to act upon

this

Linking Words

idea,as it encourages a better quality

life

Change preposition

of life

show examples

among them. They would be treated politely

due to

Linking Words

their contributions

for

Change preposition

show examples

the nation. If they were government

employ

Replace the word

employees

show examples

then

Linking Words

it is essential to give them a considerable pension. In conclusion,

whereas

Linking Words

, the state would facilitate their retired persons, it is more worth considering to provide

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

standard schooling

system

Use synonyms

for a bright future.

Submitted by kamiawan3233 on Wed Oct 30 2024

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task achievement

Expand on the specific examples by including more detailed data or anecdotes.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to provide clear transitions between the ideas to maintain a smooth flow.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that all paragraphs are thoroughly aligned with the central thesis statement.

coherence cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion that set up the discussion effectively.

task achievement

Each viewpoint is explained logically with supporting arguments.

task achievement

The essay covers both sides of the argument fairly and provides a personal opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Practice 2: Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think the recent increasing cheap air travel brings benefits, while other people think it has drawbacks to the environment involves resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?