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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that the environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. discuss both these views and give your own opinion. b

#people #scale #b
Some will argue that environmental
problems
 must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be solved on a global scale,
while
 others think national dealing is the best way that exists.Definitely, both
method
Change to a plural noun
methods
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 had their benefits and drawbacks, and each plays a unique role in tackling environmental challenges.I believe that the most effective and, at the same time the fastest way to solve
problems
 is to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deal with them on a global scale. On the one hand, each country is better equipped to recognize its own
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and
adress
Correct your spelling
address
 them more efficiently.For
inctance
Correct your spelling
instance
,
this
 includes
issues
 related to the economy, the quality of its residents, and the tourism sector.In
this
 case, every country should resolve their own difficulties without bringing them to the attention of other nations.
However
, when it comes to larger setbacks,
such
 as air and atmospheric pollution or war, any country can not address these
issues
 alone or make important decisions independently, especially when
this
Change the determiner
these
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 difficulties impact other nations as well.
Therefore
, I would like to propose another option. On the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 hand,
global
Add an article
the global
show examples
 approach can deal with environmental
issues
, like climate change and air pollution, which
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
show examples
 the whole world. These
problems
 do not stop at national borders, so countries need to work together to address them.
For instance
, global warming,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
impacts everyone and every region.Global agreements,
such
 as the Paris Agreement, show how countries can unite to set common goals for reducing emissions and share ideas for sustainable practices. Supporters of
this
 approach argue that working together can lead to stronger solutions since countries can combine their resources and knowledge. I believe that global dealing is the fastest method of solving the
problems
.
Eventhrough
Correct your spelling
Even though
Even through
 each
approaches
Change to a singular noun
approach
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 important. National efforts are essential for solving local
issues
, but global cooperation is needed for
problems
 that affect everyone, like climate change.It is recommended to use global solving if the matter concerns everyone.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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language
Try to consistently use varied vocabulary and grammatical structures to display a higher level of language proficiency.
language
Some sentences can be rephrased to sound more natural or grammatically correct. For example, "must to be solved" should be "must be solved."
task response
Your argument in favor of a global approach could be further strengthened by more detailed examples. You could also elaborate more on why a national approach alone may not suffice.
task response
The essay clearly addresses both views and provides a personal opinion, fulfilling the task requirements well.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that outlines the topic and a conclusion that effectively summarizes the main points.
task achievement
You provided concrete examples such as global warming and the Paris Agreement, adding relevance and specificity to your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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