Currently children have less responsibilities than they had in the past some say this is a good change some argue that it had negative effect on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion based on your personal experience.
Nowadays, youngsters are less responsible for
tasks
in comparison with previous years. Some people believe that this
can have some negative effects, while
others, myself included, subscribe to the view that considering less
responsibilities is more beneficial.
Change the quantifier
fewer
Firstly
, it is believed that children
who are not responsible for many tasks
can not be successful in future because they are not able to develop their cognitive skills properly. Some cognitive abilities such
as critical thinking and problem solving deman
practice to develop and Correct your spelling
demand
thos
Correct your spelling
those
children
who practice them through real tasks
can develop them better. Furthermore
, it is said that children
who are more responsible for chors
and other activities at home will learn and practice helping which is an essential skill in Correct your spelling
chores
cociety
. Correct your spelling
society
For example
, some studies reveals
that Change the verb form
reveal
children
Correct pronoun usage
who learnt
learnt
to help Correct your spelling
learn
parents
at home are better Correct pronoun usage
their parents
in
group Change preposition
at
working
.
Replace the word
work
On the other hand
, childern
who are in charge of many Correct your spelling
children
tasks
are not able to play with their peers. Playing is an essential activity for youngsters and eliminating this
could bring about problems such
as unvevelopment
in cognitive abilities. Correct your spelling
development
For instance
, many cognitive skills such
as problem-solving would be developt
through playing. Replace the word
developed
Moreover
, less
responsibilities allow youngsters to Change the quantifier
fewer
persue thier
true desires and find out their talents. If Correct your spelling
pursue their
children
become overwhelmed with many tasks
such
as their homeworks
, Correct your spelling
homework
could not
consider other activities Wrong verb form
cannot
such
as sport
or music.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
sports
while
some claim that less responsibilities can have negative effects on their future, as well as
they can not learn group work and helping, others believe that dedicating time to playiing is more beneficial for them, also
, less tasks
is an contributive factor for revealing their talents due to
give them enough space to persue their desires.Submitted by rezaei.rezvan94 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to explore both views more deeply by providing additional arguments or counterarguments for each side.
coherence cohesion
Focus on minimizing grammatical errors and improving sentence structures for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument well and maintained a balanced perspective, along with providing a personal opinion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?