Currently children have less responsibilities than they had in the past some say this is a good change some argue that it had negative effect on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion based on your personal experience.

Nowadays, youngsters are less responsible for
tasks
in comparison with previous years. Some people believe that
this
can have some negative effects,
while
others, myself included, subscribe to the view that considering
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
responsibilities is more beneficial.
Firstly
, it is believed that
children
who are not responsible for many
tasks
can not be successful in future because they are not able to develop their cognitive skills properly. Some cognitive abilities
such
as critical thinking and problem solving
deman
Correct your spelling
demand
practice to develop and
thos
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those
children
who practice them through real
tasks
can develop them better.
Furthermore
, it is said that
children
who are more responsible for
chors
Correct your spelling
chores
show examples
and other activities at home will learn and practice helping which is an essential skill in
cociety
Correct your spelling
society
.
For example
, some studies
reveals
Change the verb form
reveal
show examples
that
children
Correct pronoun usage
who learnt
show examples
learnt
Correct your spelling
learn
show examples
to help
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
at home are better
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
group
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
childern
Correct your spelling
children
who are in charge of many
tasks
are not able to play with their peers. Playing is an essential activity for youngsters and eliminating
this
could bring about problems
such
as
unvevelopment
Correct your spelling
development
in cognitive abilities.
For instance
, many cognitive skills
such
as problem-solving would be
developt
Replace the word
developed
show examples
through playing.
Moreover
,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
responsibilities allow youngsters to
persue thier
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pursue their
true desires and find out their talents. If
children
become overwhelmed with many
tasks
such
as their
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
,
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
consider other activities
such
as
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
or music. In conclusion,
while
some claim that less responsibilities can have negative effects on their future,
as well as
they can not learn group work and helping, others believe that dedicating time to playiing is more beneficial for them,
also
, less
tasks
is an contributive factor for revealing their talents
due to
give them enough space to persue their desires.
Submitted by rezaei.rezvan94 on

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task achievement
Try to explore both views more deeply by providing additional arguments or counterarguments for each side.
coherence cohesion
Focus on minimizing grammatical errors and improving sentence structures for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument well and maintained a balanced perspective, along with providing a personal opinion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Responsibilities
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Well-rounded development
  • Hobbies
  • Stress
  • Pressure
  • Creative
  • Curious
  • Life skills
  • Problem-solving
  • Time management
  • Independence
  • Entitlement
  • Dependency
  • Challenges
  • Discipline
  • Balanced development
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