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Band 6.5

the pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992

the pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992
The image presents the two pie charts that show some
employment
Use synonyms
 patterns between
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in Great Britain in nineteen
ninety two
Add a hyphen
ninety-two
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 craft or similar have shown relatively balanced percentages between male and female, with
twenty six
Add a hyphen
twenty-six
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and
twenty seven
Add a hyphen
twenty-seven
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Also
Linking Words
, the same
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pattern of other
non-manual
Correct your spelling
non-manuals
show examples
 which have witnessed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slight
Change the word
slightly
show examples
 stable percentages with 6% in
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and 9% in
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, clerical figures have evident a higher
proportion
Use synonyms
 in
female
Add an article
a female
the female
show examples
 with
thirty one
Add a hyphen
thirty-one
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 showed a significant difference in
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 which was only six per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 have proven that the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of managerial figures reached the peak of
Use synonyms
employment
Correct article usage
the employment
show examples
 chart which achieved
thirty six
Add a hyphen
thirty-six
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 female
employment
Use synonyms
 charts have achieved 29%.
Finally
Linking Words
, the pattern of other
manual
Fix the agreement mistake
manuals
show examples
 have proven
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
significant disparities in their percentages between
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 with 24 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and 3 per
cent
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Also
Linking Words
, General labourers have shown only
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
 of three per
cent
Use synonyms
 for both
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data provided information on the
proportion
Use synonyms
among
Change preposition
of
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in both manual and non-manual
employment
Use synonyms
 categories.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
employment
Use synonyms
 pattern is varied between
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in UK in 1992.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, men, women, cent, proportion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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