IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn news. However, others believe that they can learn news better through other medias. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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People have distinct perspectives on the most effective platform for gathering information about current events.
While
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 there are some merits to reading
news
Use synonyms
 in
newspapers
Use synonyms
, I strongly think that other media will benefit readers more.
To begin
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 with, it is undeniable that
newspapers
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 provide readers with numerous advantages.
Firstly
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, the process of writing and publishing
newspapers
Use synonyms
 requires a considerable amount of censorship and reviewing,
therefore
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 ensuring high accuracy for every piece of
news
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, the traditional approach helps us focus on the
news
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, lessening the risk of information overload from time-wasting distractions.
Hence
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, it is particularly suitable for the elderly demographic,
thus
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 being able to target a wider range of audience.
For example
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, most elders in Vietnam still keep the daily habit of reading
newspapers
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 in the early morning. If people do not learn the
news
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 on paper, they may be prone to interruptions and confusion when reading.
On the other hand
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, alternative media, mainly online platforms, has unique advantages that traditional
newspapers
Use synonyms
 do not. In the first place, they are truly convenient for us as they make us able to read an abundance of
news
Use synonyms
 on a broad range of technological devices, from smartphones to computers.
In addition
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, not only can we read
news
Use synonyms
 that covers every aspect of life, but we can
also
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 learn about the past on the same device.
Furthermore
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,
news
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 on social media allows for more consumer engagement and interaction, making it easier to give feedback and comments,
as a result
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 enhancing the quality of the
news
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that
newspapers
Use synonyms
 are widely preferred platforms to learn
news
Use synonyms
 from, I still lean towards the path of using online sources for
newsreading
Correct your spelling
news reading
.

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task achievement
Add more detailed examples to support the points about the advantages of online platforms for news consumption, such as factual statistics or specific instances.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity by occasionally summarizing key points before transitioning to the next. This will help in maintaining a clear connection between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing the main points and providing a personal opinion.
task achievement
Main points are supported by relevant arguments, showing understanding of the advantages of both newspapers and online media.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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