Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

It is sad that

music

could play as a connecting bridge between individuals with distinctive age groups and cultural backgrounds.

However

, some

people

see

music

as an only entertaining tool. I completely agree with the former opinion

Music

is a universal language which we are born with.

As a result

, every human being already can communicate with the notes immediately after they are born. We could acknowledge

this

in the reaction of any newborn baby to a lullaby.

Moreover

, our first tool to communicate with our parents

also

is musical crying.

For instance

, many experts believe we can find out the newborns’ requests based on their crying tones.

This

means we are familiar with

music

from the beginning of our life journey.

This

gives us the opportunity to make contact with any other person around the globe without knowing their mother tongue.

Music

notes affect us psychologically.

This

means they can change our brain’s biochemical functions.

For example

, many studies confirmed the role of

music

in the management of

people

with psychological disorders.

In addition

, Surprisingly, musical notes from different cultures act

similarly

on humans and show the same effects. Studies

also

showed when a song hits the public every age group and

people

from different ethnicities generally have a positive reaction to it.

For example

, we can see

this

universal acceptance of hit songs like Celendions’. In conclusion,

although

there is a minority of

people

who follow

music

just in terms of entertainment, we biologically and by instinct comprehend

music

and utilize it to communicate with our kind and even other species.

Submitted by drmmdi on Wed Oct 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure more clarity and precision in topic sentences to enhance logical flow.

task achievement

Some points require further development and specific examples to strengthen them.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively laying out the main argument and summarizing it.

task achievement

The response provides a comprehensive answer to the question, discussing key points on the universal nature of music.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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