There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is no denying the fact that
money
is the most crucial part of a job and a
motivation for Remove the article
apply
people
. While
it is a commonly held belief that there are other motivations for employment, in my opinion, I consider money
and other essential motivators, such
as routines, to be the most important in jobs nowadays.
To begin
with, there are several important factors that help employees get more motivation. In other words
, money
and sticking to a routine are the most important things
in the life
of a job. In addition
, people
work
because they need the essential things
in life
, and without money
, they will suffer from poverty. A relevant example from my life
: Young people
in my country always need money
because they have things
to pay for, such
as college fees, food, and other things
.
Another point to considerAdd a missing verb
is, Financial
: Financial
aspects and routines help employees to be more efficient in the community; we will have great developments in our country. It is Correct your spelling
that financial
also
possible to say that habits and good routines will always help them avoid mental illnesses, such
as anxiety, depression, and agitation. In addition
, maintaining good mental health will help them to be more motivated to work
, regardless of money
. Moreover
, the financial aspect of work
will definitely inspire people
because they have to pay for many things
, such
as water and electricity bills and food.
In conclusion, despite people
having different views, I believe that encouraging people
to work
with money
is the most realistic and crucial factor in life
. Moreover
, I see that people
who are encouraged by it always pay it back to the benefit of the country in which they work
in
.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by rnoo95366 on
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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, linking ideas effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or anecdotes to reinforce your key points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, setting a strong frame for your arguments.
task achievement
Your points about the role of money and routines as motivation were well articulated and relevant.