You have just a cursed in a college which has no sports facilities of its own

#college #sports #facilities

Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to enquire about I will joining your

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities because not available

sport

gym our university First of

all

Add a comma

all,

show examples

let me introduce myself my full name is Shin Hari.You can call me Hari and I am 17 years old. I study at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Yonsei

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

. I am crazy about

sport

because it is very useful for my health.I have been interested in sports since I was young so

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

has

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

a part of my life.I

have been doing

Wrong verb form

did

show examples

karate when I was young and I have

also

been very interested in volleyball at the moment and

doing

Verb problem

play

show examples

volleyball twice a

weeks

Fix the agreement mistake

week

show examples

ask

Wrong verb form

am asking

show examples

you

some

Change preposition

for some

show examples

information about your

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

club. What are my

possibility

Fix the agreement mistake

possibilities

show examples

if I join your club? I would like to use your

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

club for unlimited time and I would

also

like to know what the costs are for members. I hope you will replace

this

answer.You can write on my email @shinHari Yours Faithfully Shin Hari

Submitted by Writing9 on Thu Oct 31 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While the letter structure is clear with an introduction and closing, ensure that your main points are fully developed and supported with specific details. This will help in making your response more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Try to refine your logical structure by organizing your thoughts clearly into paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct idea or point. This will enhance the readability and flow of your letter.

task achievement

You've effectively introduced yourself and expressed your passion for sports, which adds a personal touch to the letter.

coherence cohesion

The letter's purpose is clear, and the introduction and conclusion are present, providing a well-defined framework for your message.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

168 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.
While it is widely claimed that schools should emphasis on only academic performance rather than those skills such as cookery, tailor, and crafts that could be learned elsewhere out of the school, others argue that those hand-on skills should be included in the curriculum as well. Both point of views and reasons why I agree with the former statement will be elaborated on in this essay.
5.5
band
Your friend is coming to your country from abroad, but you can't go to pick him up at the airport. Write a letter to him/her and say -why you can't pick him up -suggest alternative ideas -talk about what he can do in your country
I hope you are doing well. I am very happy to hear about you that you are coming to our country for visit. I am writing this letter to inform you that I will not be available to pick you from the airport due to some urgent work at office.
7.5
band
In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
The drive to excel academically mixed with admiration of entrepreneurial success has made a few elites in many parts of the world earn extortionate incomes that make them stand out. Some seem to favour this view as being pleasant to any nation, while others oppose it and think law enforcement should regulate people's salaries so that they do not surpass a certain threshold. In this essay l will discuss both views and why l have chosen to stand with the former statement.
5
band
In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
At present, a large section of society of few nations is having their first baby at later age from their marriage. There are abundant reasons behind this trend, such as course growth, society and so on. The essay explores the reasons and weighs the pros and cons.
6.5
band
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone app is becoming increasingly common. Does these development have more advantages or disadvantages?
Recently, there has been a growing trend of online purchases of products in different countries. Although this makes a purchase of essential products quicker and easier, it could potentially result in shopping addiction. While there are various advantages and disadvantages associated with this topic, I am of the opinion that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

You have just a cursed in a college which has no sports facilities of its own

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

Your friend is coming to your country from abroad, but you can't go to pick him up at the airport. Write a letter to him/her and say -why you can't pick him up -suggest alternative ideas -talk about what he can do in your country

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone app is becoming increasingly common. Does these development have more advantages or disadvantages?