You have just a cursed in a college which has no sports facilities of its own

#college #sports #facilities

Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to enquire about I will joining your

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities because not available

sport

gym our university First of

all

Add a comma

all,

show examples

let me introduce myself my full name is Shin Hari.You can call me Hari and I am 17 years old. I study at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Yonsei

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

. I am crazy about

sport

because it is very useful for my health.I have been interested in sports since I was young so

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

has

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

a part of my life.I

have been doing

Wrong verb form

did

show examples

karate when I was young and I have

also

been very interested in volleyball at the moment and

doing

Verb problem

play

show examples

volleyball twice a

weeks

Fix the agreement mistake

week

show examples

ask

Wrong verb form

am asking

show examples

you

some

Change preposition

for some

show examples

information about your

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

club. What are my

possibility

Fix the agreement mistake

possibilities

show examples

if I join your club? I would like to use your

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

club for unlimited time and I would

also

like to know what the costs are for members. I hope you will replace

this

answer.You can write on my email @shinHari Yours Faithfully Shin Hari

Submitted by Writing9 on Thu Oct 31 2024

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task achievement

While the letter structure is clear with an introduction and closing, ensure that your main points are fully developed and supported with specific details. This will help in making your response more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Try to refine your logical structure by organizing your thoughts clearly into paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct idea or point. This will enhance the readability and flow of your letter.

task achievement

You've effectively introduced yourself and expressed your passion for sports, which adds a personal touch to the letter.

coherence cohesion

The letter's purpose is clear, and the introduction and conclusion are present, providing a well-defined framework for your message.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

168 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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You have just a cursed in a college which has no sports facilities of its own

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that we do not need printed newspapers anymore. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The government should invest more money in teaching science than in other subjects for a country development and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodmaking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

n many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.