Some people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for top athletes. Other people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for everybody. Discuss both views

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Certain
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A certain
The certain

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number of
people
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believe that more
fund
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funds

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should be
cosidered
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considered

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for providing
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sport
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sports

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equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment

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for top
sportmans
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sportsmen
sportsman

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by
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the authority
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authority
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authorities

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.
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While some
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Some

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argue that states should more allocate money to
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Use synonyms

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sport
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sports

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equipment for all the
people
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. On the one hand, it is believed that by dedicating more money to
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Use synonyms

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sport
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sports

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facilities
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for top
sportmans
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
sportsman

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, they can be more
prepare
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prepared

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for international competitions and
imroves
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improve

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their performance. If they perform better in these competitions, they
would
Wrong verb form
will

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get medals for their national teams.
For example
Linking Words

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, in
Iran
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Iran,

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there are not any national team in
Olympic
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the Olympic

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gams
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games

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for cycling
due to
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insufficient professional bicycles and its specific
graounds
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grounds

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.
Furthermore
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, successful
athlets
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athletes

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are basically talented
people
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and dedicating more money
for
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to

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their
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Use synonyms

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sport
Change the noun form
sports

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facilities
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, will be a contributive factor
for
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to

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their success.
On the other hand
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, it is claimed that the governments are responsible for facilitating public
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Use synonyms

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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sport
Change the noun form
sports

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centers
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centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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in order to encourage individuals to
exercising
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exercise

The to-infinitive that follows the verb encourage requires the base form. Change exercising to the base form.

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and give them an opportunity to find their athletic talents.
Additionally
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,
this
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can contribute to finding new talents to join
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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national teams.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the authorities can have a positive impact on the
overall
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well-being of individuals by providing
facilities
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for their exercise.
Additionally
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, they can encourage
people
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to have healthier
lifestyle
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lifestyles

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and
consequently
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healthier society.
For instance
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, in some countries, the governments
provided
Wrong verb form
provide

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some
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment

It appears that equipments is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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for exercising in public parks. In conclusion,
while
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some individuals think that the governments should devote more
fund
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funds

It seems that fund may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to facilitating sports
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers

It seems that center may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for top
sportmans
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
sportsman

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because they are more talented and part of the national team, others believe that the authorities should dedicate more
maney
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money

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to providing
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sport
Change the noun form
sports

It appears that the noun sport is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

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facilities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
public
Add an article
the public

The noun phrase public seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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in order to find new talents and promoting healthy lifestyle.
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task achievement
Consider developing each point more thoroughly and clearly connecting ideas to ensure the essay fully explores both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Ensure all examples provided are directly linked to the main points discussed to improve the effectiveness and relevance of your examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing clearer transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the overall logical flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction previews the main points and the conclusion effectively summarizes your stance.
task achievement
The essay presents both perspectives on the topic, indicating a good understanding of the question.
task achievement
There is an attempt to provide examples to support the arguments, which enhances clarity in some parts.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
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