Some people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for top athletes. Other people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for everybody. Discuss both views

#people #government #money #sport #facilities #athletes #everybody

Certain

Change the article

A certain

The certain

show examples

number of

people

believe that more

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

should be

cosidered

Correct your spelling

considered

for providing

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

for top

sportmans

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

sportsman

Correct article usage

the authority

show examples

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

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While some

Correct word choice

Some

show examples

argue that states should more allocate money to

sport

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sports

show examples

equipment for all the

people

. On the one hand, it is believed that by dedicating more money to

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

for top

sportmans

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

sportsman

, they can be more

prepare

Wrong verb form

prepared

show examples

for international competitions and

imroves

Correct your spelling

improve

their performance. If they perform better in these competitions, they

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

get medals for their national teams.

For example

, in

Iran

Add a comma

Iran,

show examples

there are not any national team in

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

gams

Correct your spelling

games

show examples

for cycling

due to

insufficient professional bicycles and its specific

graounds

Correct your spelling

grounds

Furthermore

, successful

athlets

Correct your spelling

athletes

are basically talented

people

and dedicating more money

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

, will be a contributive factor

for

Change preposition

show examples

their success.

On the other hand

, it is claimed that the governments are responsible for facilitating public

sport

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sports

show examples

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

in order to encourage individuals to

exercising

Change the verb form

exercise

show examples

and give them an opportunity to find their athletic talents.

Additionally

this

can contribute to finding new talents to join

Change preposition

apply

show examples

national teams.

Moreover

, the authorities can have a positive impact on the

overall

well-being of individuals by providing

facilities

for their exercise.

Additionally

, they can encourage

people

to have healthier

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

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and

consequently

healthier society.

For instance

, in some countries, the governments

provided

Wrong verb form

provide

show examples

some

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

for exercising in public parks. In conclusion,

while

some individuals think that the governments should devote more

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

to facilitating sports

center

Fix the agreement mistake

centers

show examples

for top

sportmans

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

sportsman

because they are more talented and part of the national team, others believe that the authorities should dedicate more

maney

Correct your spelling

money

to providing

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

for

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

in order to find new talents and promoting healthy lifestyle.

Submitted by rezaei.rezvan94 on Thu Oct 31 2024

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task achievement

Consider developing each point more thoroughly and clearly connecting ideas to ensure the essay fully explores both sides of the argument.

task achievement

Ensure all examples provided are directly linked to the main points discussed to improve the effectiveness and relevance of your examples.

coherence cohesion

Work on developing clearer transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the overall logical flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Make sure the introduction previews the main points and the conclusion effectively summarizes your stance.

task achievement

The essay presents both perspectives on the topic, indicating a good understanding of the question.

task achievement

There is an attempt to provide examples to support the arguments, which enhances clarity in some parts.

coherence cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for top athletes. Other people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for everybody. Discuss both views

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome culture differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

computers and A.I. technology are increasingly used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative developments?

Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?