In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Somepeople say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #somepeople #population #governments #society

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

One of the enormous problems in many countries is facing with having more elderly

people

in society. Many advantages and drawbacks exist which show how having old

people

affects an area. In

this

essay, we will talk about what will come for a country if it has more old

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

First,

one of the reasons why we need our older generation is they help us to use their experiences of their life.

For example

, a person works for his or her whole lifetime which means they do a position for more than 30

years

Therefore

, there is much knowledge behind their work experience.

Thus

, it is better for the youngest workers to follow what they did and knew

Change preposition

show examples

all 30 ages except repeat problems again.

For instance

, in my workplace, we have many position positions for persons who have retired from our school. Some days they come to visit and help us how to do our job better.

As a result

, their comments deeply help us, who have started our job in the

last

10 days, to improve ourselves in the workplace and not repeat the same old mistakes again. In fact,

this

action boosts us to achieve our goals at school very soon.

This

example shows us how having old

people

next to us will aid us in workplaces.

Second,

in a society, each human needs an amount of money to live.

Also

, the budget for saving old humans is significantly more than

youngers

Correct your spelling

younger

show examples

For example

, individuals who retire after a long time need the amount of currency for the rest of their life. Chinese live more than 80

years

old.

Hence

, it is easy to calculate the budget for saving older in their country is really more than in other countries.

For instance

, if a person lives 10 decades

then

the government has to pay cash for 40

years

of his or her life because he or she retired at around 60

years

old.

Thus

, these ages of paying money by the government are really hard for areas to handle their budgets.

This

means having old

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

is not actually good for a nation

for

this

reason.

Overall

, we have talked about the results of having

people

who are now living longer than ever before in society. In my opinion, the advantages of

this

subject are dramatically more than the demerits. We can handle the disadvantages of

this

issue but we can not receive the prons at any cost.

Submitted by sarvin.rahimi9898 on Thu Oct 31 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the prompt. While you discuss both advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population, provide a more balanced coverage of each side for a complete response.

task achievement

Clarify your main points with more precise language. Some sentences are unclear and may confuse the reader. Try to simplify complex ideas into easily digestible statements.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay to enhance logical flow. The transitions between paragraphs and ideas are a bit abrupt. Use linking words to better connect your ideas.

task achievement

Elaborate on each main idea with further details or varied examples to strengthen your argument. One or two detailed examples don't suffice to cover the essay comprehensively.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly sets the stage for the essay and outlines the discussion on both advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population.

task achievement

Your experiences provide personal insight which is a strong point in illustrating your argument. It's great to see personal examples being tied to broader points.

task achievement

The conclusion succinctly summarizes the stance and provides a personal thought on the balance of advantages and disadvantages, which nicely rounds off the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

412 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Life expectancy
Demographic shift
Healthcare infrastructure
Pension funds
Intergenerational solidarity
Consumer demographics
Workforce participation
Cultural heritage
Urban planning
Assisted living facilities
Socio-economic challenges
Sustainable development

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. To what extent fo you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is said that the presence of televisions has the tendency to destroy interactions and the sense of community of families. I totally agree with the suggested opinion since TV presence reduces our desire to visit our family and kills communication between the members.
4
band
The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays people rely on the social media to interrupt with friends and families. More and more people consider this trendency is better than face-to-face. I will claim that the upsides of using social media do not outwiegh the downsides.
5.5
band
Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is inevitable that the aims spending money depend one the person while some people argue that the most essential thing about being a wealthy person is to provide opportunity to give other people a hand. From my standpoint, I firmly believe that being rich means to help other people.
7
band
People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
In modern society, people have a better life than in previous times. Some communities disagree with this statement, but I agree people who live in the twenty-first century have a lot of advantages such as having a better education, the healthcare system is more mature, and there is a lot of advanced technology. In this essay, I will discuss how people who live in present-day society are better than in previous times.
8
band
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
We are living in an extremely competitive world. This society is continuously pushing us, making us feel that we must be the best in everything we do, and that we must have a rivalry with our colleagues to be better or to get more recognition than them. However, in the long run, I don’t think this theory has been proven true. In this essay, I would like to argue why I believe that the education approach should be reconsidered in our schools, so kids stop competing between themselves and are shown the importance of cooperation to achieve their goals.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. To what extent fo you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.