In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Somepeople say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

One of the enormous problems in many countries is facing with having more elderly
people
in society. Many advantages and drawbacks exist which show how having old
people
affects an area. In
this
essay, we will talk about what will come for a country if it has more old
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
.
First,
one of the reasons why we need our older generation is they help us to use their experiences of their life.
For example
, a person works for his or her whole lifetime which means they do a position for more than 30
years
.
Therefore
, there is much knowledge behind their work experience.
Thus
, it is better for the youngest workers to follow what they did and knew
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
all 30 ages except repeat problems again.
For instance
, in my workplace, we have many position positions for persons who have retired from our school. Some days they come to visit and help us how to do our job better.
As a result
, their comments deeply help us, who have started our job in the
last
10 days, to improve ourselves in the workplace and not repeat the same old mistakes again. In fact,
this
action boosts us to achieve our goals at school very soon.
This
example shows us how having old
people
next to us will aid us in workplaces.
Second,
in a society, each human needs an amount of money to live.
Also
, the budget for saving old humans is significantly more than
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
.
For example
, individuals who retire after a long time need the amount of currency for the rest of their life. Chinese live more than 80
years
old.
Hence
, it is easy to calculate the budget for saving older in their country is really more than in other countries.
For instance
, if a person lives 10 decades
then
the government has to pay cash for 40
years
of his or her life because he or she retired at around 60
years
old.
Thus
, these ages of paying money by the government are really hard for areas to handle their budgets.
This
means having old
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
is not actually good for a nation
for
this
reason.
Overall
, we have talked about the results of having
people
who are now living longer than ever before in society. In my opinion, the advantages of
this
subject are dramatically more than the demerits. We can handle the disadvantages of
this
issue but we can not receive the prons at any cost.
Submitted by sarvin.rahimi9898 on

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the prompt. While you discuss both advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population, provide a more balanced coverage of each side for a complete response.
task achievement
Clarify your main points with more precise language. Some sentences are unclear and may confuse the reader. Try to simplify complex ideas into easily digestible statements.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay to enhance logical flow. The transitions between paragraphs and ideas are a bit abrupt. Use linking words to better connect your ideas.
task achievement
Elaborate on each main idea with further details or varied examples to strengthen your argument. One or two detailed examples don't suffice to cover the essay comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets the stage for the essay and outlines the discussion on both advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population.
task achievement
Your experiences provide personal insight which is a strong point in illustrating your argument. It's great to see personal examples being tied to broader points.
task achievement
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the stance and provides a personal thought on the balance of advantages and disadvantages, which nicely rounds off the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Life expectancy
  • Demographic shift
  • Healthcare infrastructure
  • Pension funds
  • Intergenerational solidarity
  • Consumer demographics
  • Workforce participation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Urban planning
  • Assisted living facilities
  • Socio-economic challenges
  • Sustainable development
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