At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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Easily I can say
youth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

really
Add a missing verb
is really

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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perfect for our future. We need to fresh brain and fast
progress
Replace the word
progressive

The word progress doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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brain. That's why
youth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

indeed
Add a missing verb
is indeed

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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good
Correct article usage
a good

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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key for us we can easily accept
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

thing. İn addition, If
youth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

more
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

then
Correct your spelling
than

The word then doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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older
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

it's exactly good news as
result
Add an article
a result

The noun phrase result seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
youth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who
hard-working
Add a missing verb
are hard-working

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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and more clever
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

then
Correct your spelling
than

The word then doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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older
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Older
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

doesn'
Change the verb form
don't

The verb does does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

understand most
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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Add an article
the thing
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thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things

It seems that thing may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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they need
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun help in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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help
for
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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understanding and perception.
Their
Replace the word
There

The word Their may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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are
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb are appears to be unnecessary here.

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situation should be
so
Rephrase
very

There may be an adverb issue here.

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hard. Maybe they have experience for life
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

for
Add the comma(s)
, for

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter for instance. Consider adding the comma(s).

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instance, they lived so many years in the world and they are wiser
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

then
Correct your spelling
than

The word then doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
youth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

but they
can'
Rewrite the sentence
can't walk anywhere
can walk nowhere

Your sentence appears to include a double negative with the inclusion of both can't and nowhere. Remove a negative word, or make certain you intend to have the positive result.

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t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

walk nowhere if younger
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

doesn'
Change the verb form
don't

The verb does does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

help. As
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

youth
Add a comma
youth,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase As youth. Consider adding a comma.

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we should learn our
grandfather
Change noun form
grandfather's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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or
grandmother
Change noun form
grandmother's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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knowledge.
Government
Add an article
The government

The noun phrase Government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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want to constant population for both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides

It seems that side may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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because for a country that
need
Change the verb form
needs

The plural verb need does not appear to agree with the singular subject a country. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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younger and older
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as
result
Add an article
a result

The noun phrase result seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
at
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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both part important for developing. Nowadays, mostly younger
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

achieve something like big business but older
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

already achieved something that's why they are just sitting
their
Change preposition
in their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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home or they
continued
Wrong verb form
continue

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb continued. Consider changing it.

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developing themself. If one younger
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

want to improve yourself he is quickly can develop yourself but ı can'
t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

say
same
Change the article
the same

It appears that the phrase same thing does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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thing for older
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because their mind
function
Correct subject-verb agreement
functions

It seems that the verb function does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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substantial different
Replace the word
substantially differently

The word substantial different doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we have to include both younger and older
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. As I mentioned before
for
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a country
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs

It seems that the verb need does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to good condition. Extra, ages
strongly
Add a missing verb
are strongly

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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significant. All
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds

It seems that kind may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of ages carrying big
essential
Fix the agreement mistake
essentials

It seems that essential may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for
future
Correct article usage
the future

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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we have to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

order.
İf
Add the punctuation
İf,

It appears that you are missing a punctuation mark after the interjection İf. Consider adding a comma.

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we don'
t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

order
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

arrangement and we don'
t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

listen
Add the preposition
listen to

The phrase following the intransitive verb listen seems to be missing a preposition. Consider adding one.

show examples
youth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or older
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

we can'
t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

achieve major intention.

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structural
Try to provide a clearer structure to the essay. Each paragraph should have a main idea, and the essay should have a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence
Work on developing a more logical progression of ideas. Transition words and better-organized points can help in making the essay flow naturally.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your arguments. This will strengthen the points you are making and help achieve a higher score.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a larger number of young adults compared to older people in a country.
task achievement
Some relevant points are made, especially regarding the potential economic contributions of young adults and the wisdom of older generations.
coherence
The conclusion summarizes the main arguments and offers a final opinion, which is an important part of the essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
Look at other essays: