IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The charts below provide the primary reason tourists visited Orange City in two different years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#reason #tourists #city #two #years #information #features #comparisons
The two provided charts describe the proportions of travellers
visited
Correct pronoun usage
who visited
show examples
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
Orange
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
 in two distinctive years, 2006 and 2016
as well as
 depict the list of activities the tourist was attracted to
such
 as
theartre
Correct your spelling
theatre
theatres
,
restaurants
,
museums
, annual
events
 and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
Overall
, in 2006, the total number of
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 to the
city
 was approximately 1 million
whereas
 after a decade it increased by nine hundred thousand.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the primary reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 visiting the region was annual
events
 in 2006, it
becomes
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
secondry
Correct your spelling
secondary
second
 in 2016.
However
, individuals got more
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in
restaurants
 in 2016 making it
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 cause of their
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
show examples
. Having a glance at the pie charts, it is evident that in 2006, 45% of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 used to attend annual
events
 in
metropolitan
Correct article usage
the metropolitan
show examples
whereas
 more than
Correct article usage
a quater
show examples
quater
Correct your spelling
quarter
 were
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in
museums
(27%). The theatres (13%) and
restaurants
(11%) were almost equally popular with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
diffrence
Correct your spelling
difference
 of 3
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. Just 5% was individuals used to come to the
city
 for other reasons. After a decade,
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 change was noticed in the
prefrences
Correct your spelling
preferences
 of travellers.
While
restaurants
 had
sheer
Correct article usage
a sheer
show examples
one tenth
Add a hyphen
one-tenth
show examples
 of travellers in 2006, it
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 major
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 behind having more
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 in the
city
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 ratio of 41% in 2016. Followed by, annual
events
 and
museums
 which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 32% and 11% respectively.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, other
motive
Fix the agreement mistake
motives
show examples
or
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 going to
museums
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 at
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
 point other
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
8% in 2016.
Submitted by navsukhrai5319 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words city, restaurants, museums, events with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: