In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creases problems for governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having anageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #creases #governments #society

With the continuous improvement of the healthcare system and the advancement of medical technology, global life expectancy is increasing, which has led to a significant increase in the number of elderly people. Some people believe that

this

change has brought huge challenges to the

government

while

others believe that the increase in the elderly

population

has brought certain benefits to society，In my opinion,

although

the

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

population

has brought certain challenges to the

government

, the increase in the number of elderly people is

also

beneficial to society

Firstly

population

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

puts pressure on the healthcare system and social services, as the elderly require more medical care and nursing services;

And

Correct word choice

apply

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it requires a large number of doctors with relevant expertise, and the

government

needs to invest a lot of funds to help solve the problem;

Population

aging

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ageing

show examples

may lead to a reduction in

Add an article

the labor

show examples

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

force, resulting in

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

shortages and a decrease in the employed

population

; Resulting in a decrease in

government

funds and energy, affecting funding for education and infrastructure construction，

This

will lead to a decrease in productivity and limited economic growth

Secondly

population

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

has brought some benefits to society. The experience and abilities of the elderly can guide the workforce to better arrange work and improve work efficiency. Their rich experience and ideas can promote internal innovation and problem-solving abilities; And the elderly can still serve as

laborers

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labourers

show examples

, alleviating the shortage of

labor

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labour

show examples

force

Overall

population

aging

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ageing

show examples

has both advantages and disadvantages. We should treat difficulties and challenges equally, make reasonable use of corresponding advantages, and play a corresponding role in providing assistance to society; Disadvantages should

also

be viewed correctly, problems should be solved reasonably, and the current situation should be improved

Submitted by 260897758 on Fri Nov 01 2024

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improvement

To enhance task achievement, aim to incorporate more specific examples that support your points about healthcare burdens and economic impacts. This will help to make your arguments more tangible and relatable.

improvement

In terms of coherence, work on connecting your ideas more explicitly. For instance, use clear transitions between points on challenges and benefits to improve the logical flow.

improvement

Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the main points more distinctly and proposing a clear recommendation or final thought on how society can maximize benefits while minimizing challenges.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the issue, outlining the challenges and benefits of an ageing population, which is central to the task.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure is evident with clear paragraph divisions. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the ageing population issue.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly sets up the problem and presents the stance that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and the governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

As a part of their education, many students work at a company for short period of time without a salary. Are there more advantage than disadvantage to this?

In spite of many advance women have made in education and employement they will be disadvantage when it came to pay and promotion. What is the main causes and give a solution.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+