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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the environmental issues raised by a product over its life cycle. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the environmental issues raised by a product over its life cycle. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The flow chart depicts the process of how products are produced and recycled again. In general, there are seven stages from the product of planning, and manufacturing to eventually disposing of or recycling. In the first phase of the chart, creators design and plan one model and
according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the model, workers in factories start consuming materials and energy resources to fabricate. Regarding the third step, the production emerges when completions are completed through a series of processes. For the next step, these completions are packaged and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 distributed to other shops.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when commodities are on sale, they may be purchased by consumers and brought home. In the sixth step, once merchandise is worn off, users may dispose of it if it is non-recyclable stuff.
On the contrary
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if it is the recyclables, it can be repurposed again and proceed to
next
Correct article usage
the next

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 cycle.
Nonetheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, recycled ones reduce the negative effects on the living world
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 disposed of products seriously harm the environment.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, feedback from buyers will improve the quality of production.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Lifecycle
  • Environmental impact
  • Raw materials
  • Resource depletion
  • Pollution
  • Carbon emissions
  • Transportation
  • Energy consumption
  • Waste generation
  • Sustainable sourcing
  • Eco-friendly
  • Carbon footprint
  • Recycling
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