IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows the number of British visitors to the US and American visitors to the UK from 2011 to 2015. The second chart shows the amount spent by those visitors in that period. Write at least 150 words.

#first #british #visitors #american #uk #second #amount #period
The chart illustrates the
number
 of individuals who visited
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 from
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 and
also
 depicts the
money
 spent by these individuals from 2011 to 2015. After analysing the graph, it can be clearly seen that 33000 individuals from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 visited
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 in 2011
while
 27000 visited
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in the same year and
money
Correct article usage
the money
show examples
 spent by
UK
 tourists was higher than
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
,
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
around about 4000
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
.In 2012 the
number
 of
visitors
 was almost equal in both countries and
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 tourists spent amount larger than US.
Whereas
, the digits of
UK
visitors
 and cash spent by
Correct article usage
the Uk
show examples
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 greater than US in 2013. Moving towards, the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
visitors
 and
money
 spent by
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 both increased in 2014 as compared to
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
.
Whilst in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
 the
last
 year the
number
 of
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
visitors
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
climbed to 3500 and spending amount was
also
 reached to uppest value
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 6000
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
however
 US tourists
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 acerlated but spending was low in 2015.
Overall
, it is noticeable that the
number
 of US
visitors
 was
upper
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 but
money
 spent by US
visitors
 was down as compared to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
Submitted by madihaali8470 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, uk, money, visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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