Some people belive that violent films are bad for you and encourage people to be violent. Others argue that violence and films are unrelated because violence existed before films. Which of these opinions do you agree with, and to what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, there has been a controversy regarding whether the effect of violent films has played a major role in people’s lives after watching
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
or not.
Although
the majority of the productions might come from an imagination of fiction,
this
essay strongly agrees that these entertainments may be impactful for human behaviour in the long term. Some may argue that the purpose of the production was about to entertain the audience, which means that there are no consequences towards the audience. Some
film
producers may desire to introduce their works as a source of entertainment and to help the viewers
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
release their stress
while
watching it, followed by the background that
this
field of work is based on the creativity and imagination of the author. Because of
this
, the fans of the movies may disagree with the statement that it has no connection with the reality of human behaviour.
This
genre of the
film
could potentially intensify the audiences’ emotions. There has been some negative controversial feedback from the Mental Hospital that the majority of the child’s behaviour, specifically violent and harmful actions came from the movies because it easily influences the patients, as they may pursue those characters as their role models to follow.
While
watching the
film
, some immature individuals might not have older adults to take care
and
Change preposition
of and
show examples
provide effective information about the consequences of the films. Because of
this
, activity can straightforwardly impact the viewers’ actions if there are no knowledgeable mentors to warn them.
To conclude
,
this
essay still supports the argument that mentioned the long-term effect of the genre of violent
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
show examples
because some minority audiences
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may have illnesses or weak mental control and immature children that unexpectedly watched the
film
without warnings could lead to the actions of the characters becoming violent.
Submitted by bua.sarocha.7.2 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments about the effects of violent films.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clearer logical structure by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This will improve the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively presents an introduction and conclusion that are both clear and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and you have addressed the task well by discussing both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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