Some people think that the environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. discuss both these views and give your own opinion. an
Some would argue that we should deal with
environment
Replace the word
environmental
issues
on a global scale
. However
, other
think that figuring out the Fix the agreement mistake
others
problem
nationally is a better way. While
nationally takes a lot of time. I believe that it is better to resolve the problem
on a global scale
where everyone can share their ideas and make decisions.
On the one
hand, some people think resolving the issue on a global scale
can help for
Change preposition
apply
everyone
share Replace the word
every one
with
ideas or probably solutions and they believe that it takes much Change preposition
apply
time
than the alternatives. Correct quantifier usage
more time
For example
, There
are in Kazakhstan, Fix capitalization
there
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
unresolved
Add an article
an unresolved
the unresolved
problem
that no Fix the agreement mistake
problems
one
cannot find the
solutionCorrect article usage
a
.
The sea named Aral, which is now looks like a lake. Nowadays it is Change preposition
to.
the
big Correct article usage
a
problem
in
a global Change preposition
on
scale
. Even,
Correct word choice
if, government
government
do some kind of action and even Correct article usage
the government
amount
of money Correct article usage
the amount
was
invested Unnecessary verb
apply
unfortunately
, there is no result. Add the comma(s)
, unfortunately
However
, the problem
doesn't have the
solution, I believe that Correct article usage
a
one
day we find the key of
the issue.
Change preposition
to
On the other hand
, find
a solution to trouble in Wrong verb form
finding
global
way will be the best decision because it will be amazing to distribute Change the article
a global
with
knowledge, Change preposition
apply
ideas
and to manufacture new technologies to sort out the difficulty. Correct word choice
and ideas
For example
, global warming which is everyone knows and doing everything to avoid warming. Nowadays, on a large scale
, many countries started to use renewable energy sources, recycling and protecting forest, which contains carbon dioxide. I believe addressing issues
on a global scale
means to bring
resources and cooperation from the world and it is more effective than any Change the verb form
bringing
one
country could achieve along
.
In conclusion, Rephrase
apply
deal
with Wrong verb form
dealing
issues
on a global scale
is more effective and productive than other solutions. Although
, resolving the
Correct article usage
apply
environment
Replace the word
environmental
issues
it
is humanity’s responsibility and Correct pronoun usage
apply
figure
out the difficulty nationally will be Wrong verb form
figuring
injustice
.Add an article
an injustice
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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Introduction/Conclusion
Try to refine your introduction to include a clearer acknowledgment of both viewpoints before presenting your opinion.
Task Achievement
Ensure all arguments are fully developed with adequate examples and explanations for better clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on making your paragraphs more cohesive by using a clear topic sentence and linking words to guide the reader through your argument.
Introduction/Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and provides a clear stance on the topic.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a complete yet basic response to the question, addressing both viewpoints and presenting a personal opinion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite