People often think about creating an ideal society, but most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society? How can we create an ideal society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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While

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some individuals believe that the creation of an ideal

society

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is possible, others argue the opposite. In my opinion, the latter argument holds more weight. On the one hand, the conception of an ideal

society

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is a vital topic that has been debated by some philosophers, sociologists, and politicians for centuries.

This

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aspirational idea is often represented as one where justice, equality, freedom, and harmony are dominant.

For example

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, the theoretical framework for creating

such

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a perfect community requires guaranteeing that all people have equal rights and opportunities which are not dependent on their origin.

This

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fundamental principle would logically implement

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

equal access to education, healthcare, and employment.

On the other hand

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, the potential barriers to the emergence of an ideal

society

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are the diversity of views about human values, benefits, and interests. It could lead to significant challenges and conflicts among different groups of people.

Moreover

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, governments often prefer to solve

this

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question using forceful motivation. History points out examples of some countries that have tried to design a perfect nation and used it for

this

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dictator regime.

For instance

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, in Cuba there was a military revolution which led to a dictatorship in consequence;

however

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, Fidel Castro claimed the opposite. In conclusion, creating an ideal

society

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requires some people to develop more ethical statements,

such

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as justice, equality, and freedom.

However

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, in my opinion, more of these are impossible

due to

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the potential disagreements and conflicts that are often regulated by force;

this

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, in turn, contradicts the concept of an ideal

society

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didara_93Mon Apr 07 2025

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task response

Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating your position on the ideal society more robustly. You could also define what you believe constitutes an ideal society. This can enhance clarity.

task response

Expand on your ideas by providing more examples or evidence to support your arguments. This will help to better illustrate your points and strengthen the overall argument.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the flow by using more cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, consequently) to link sentences and paragraphs. This can create a smoother reading experience.

task response

Consider enhancing the clarity of your examples. For instance, explain the Cuban revolution and its implications in more detail to show its relevance instead of briefly mentioning it.

task response

The essay presents a clear opinion and discusses both sides of the argument, which is a strong aspect of the task.

task response

The use of examples, such as the Cuban revolution, demonstrates an attempt to contextualize the argument within real-world scenarios.

task response

The essay attempts to address the complexity of creating an ideal society, which exhibits critical thinking.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ideal society
equality
social justice
sustainable practices
community engagement
economic stability
cultural diversity
accessible healthcare
fair justice system
educational opportunities
environmental sustainability
active participation
inclusive society

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People often think about creating an ideal society, but most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society? How can we create an ideal society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?

Some universities deduct students’ marks if work is given late. What is your opinion and recommend some alternative actions for this problem?

You recently went to see a good play at a theatre, but you did not enjoy it because of some problems in the theatre. Write a letter to the manager of the theatre. In your letter: say which play you saw and when describe the problems you experienced in the theatre suggest what the manager should do