IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Under British and Australian laws a jury in a criminal case has no access to information about the defendant’s past criminal record. This protects the person who is being accused of the crime. Some lawyers have suggested that this practice should be changed and that a jury should be given all the past facts before they reach their decision about the case. Do you agree or disagree?

#british #australian #laws #jury #case #access #information #defendant’s #record #person #crime #lawyers #practice #facts #decision
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People have different opinions that a
jury
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 should receive a
defendant
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’s past criminal record before they make their decision about the
case
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. In my view, I disagree with
this
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 viewpoint, I will discuss my views in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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, the background details of the
defendant
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 would impact the
jury
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's judgment. A person who stole a bread should not be charged as a serious criminal
due to
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 his past mistake,
instead
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, the
jury
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 should make decisions based on
this
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case
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 individually, because the previous crimes have been punished. Meanwhile, all crimes have particular laws, the
jury
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 should make a decision
according to
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 the law, and any other things should not play a role in influencing judgment.
Secondly
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, giving the
jury
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 past criminal records is a violation of Human Rights and Privacy. The
defendant
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 has not been accused as guilty by the judge,
thus
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 the
defendant
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 has the right protected by law.
Therefore
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, the
jury
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 has no right to get the background of the accused,
otherwise
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, the conclusion made by the
jury
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 could be seen as an injustice, and the judgment should not take effect. In conclusion, the
jury
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 should make decisions
case
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 by
case
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, not influenced by previous crime background.
Besides
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, following the law that protects the
defendant
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, be careful not to violate human rights. Based on these reasons, I believe the
jury
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 should not get the previous information.
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Specific examples can help in illustrating your points and make your essay more compelling.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are fully developed. It would help if you added more depth to your points, especially in discussing the impact of past criminal records.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to maintain the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively included both an introduction and a conclusion, helping to frame your argument clearly.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear viewpoint and sticks to the central argument throughout the text.
task achievement
Your language and sentence structures are mostly clear, which supports the communication of your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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