IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People think that countries should produce foods their population eats and import less food as much as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #foods #population #import #food
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Producing
food
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 should be completely encouraged by the government and the number of imports should be reduced. I absolutely agree with
this
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 statement
due to
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 several aspects. From an economic and healthy perspective, importing
food
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 is quite an expensive activity. The reason is it requires transport
such
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 as plane, boat or train to send
food
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 products which makes
food
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’s price higher.If the government provides local products fully, the cause of financial difficulties will decrease.
Moreover
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 importing foods can have some health issues.
For example
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, bananas are plucked from tree branches when they have not grown properly enough. In
this
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 period their color will be green.
However
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, during transportation, they will change their colour to yellow and will be available for eating. The problem is, they will be grown not naturally, without natural resources which can have negative impacts on the product. From a local perspective, producing
food
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 rather than investing in imports has various benefits.
Firstly
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, it may increase the number of jobs. When the demand for domestic
food
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 increases, there will be more jobs available in
food
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 production and farming, leading to a reduction in the unemployment rate.
In addition
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, competition among local and foreign producers will be stopped,
for example
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, if products from abroad disappear from local stores, citizens will purchase only domestic goods which will increase the financial status of native companies, which can lead to creating more opportunities for investing in new ideas.
To sum up
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, local production will always have several benefits in many ways
such
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 as economic and health, which make it an advantageous process.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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logical structure
Improve the organization of paragraphs by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This will help to further enhance the logical flow of the essay.
relevant specific examples
Consider expanding on your examples to provide even more specific and relevant details to support your arguments. This would strengthen your task achievement score.
introduction conclusion present
Clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the topic and providing closure.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas are generally clear and well-explained, allowing readers to follow arguments without confusion.
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