Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In an advanced technology generation, everyone.
people
acquire information
from everywhere costs
less Correct word choice
that costs
time
nowadays,but they are not allowed to use these,I still think it is not free in our society and not
belongAdd a missing verb
does not
Change preposition
to
People
who think to get other people
Change noun form
people's
information
are easy andfree
to complete their achievement.Take,Correct your spelling
and free
for example
,those who try to solve the question and want to cost
less Verb problem
save
time
,they saves
a large of Change the verb form
save
time
by finding many ways,tests and checking whether is wrong or right.Such
as scientific research and the
academic areas can help Correct article usage
apply
people
solve the questions fastly
..Rephrase
quickly
However
,I do not think they may work out fast because they are impossible to every time
can find the solution.People
will not develop their personal thinking because they do not get a reward and do not have any activity.
On the other hand
,argue that individual creativity is important because it is valuable to sell other
Change preposition
to other
people
.Creativers
use their brains to make different innovations,and some Correct your spelling
Creatives
people
such
as famous company bosses pay the highest price to use them,and they will have a lot of motivations
to do Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
this
.Consistently,people
understand that thinking by themselves can earn more money and more value in the world,they will improve their skill
and society develop better.I agree with Fix the agreement mistake
skills
this
argument because if people
spend a lot of time
doing things such
as scientific research, business and academics,they have to get some reward when they give the information
to other people
.Otherwise
,people
do not create but just acquire something from every place.
In conclusion,although
getting information
nowadays is fast.It is some people
spend much time
making special products and happens
in their mind.Correct pronoun usage
what happens
Therefore
.It can not be shared to be free in my view.Submitted by a0953957266 on
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Task Response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is excellent for task response. However, try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your points, especially in scientific and academic contexts.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your ideas are logically structured, but some sentences can be clearer. Consider using transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance clarity, use varied vocabulary and more sophisticated sentence structures, which will help in clearly conveying your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively done, clarifying your position right from the start and summarizing your thoughts at the end.
Task Response
You've tackled the task quite completely by discussing both viewpoints and giving your own opinion, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task's requirement.
Task Response
You have an insightful observance on the importance of individual creativity, which is a strong point of your essay.