Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
It is widely observed that many
parents
nowadays put their children
under an
extreme pressure for the sake of their Remove the article
apply
children
's success
, others argue that this
might be the consequences of Correct article usage
the pat
pat
experiences of the Correct your spelling
past
parents
that contribute to this
controversy. Hence
, whether this
intensifying pressure from the parents
will benefit for
Change preposition
apply
the
society or not will be discussed Correct article usage
apply
further
in this
essay.
To begin
with, it seems sensible for some to believe that the trend of parenting that emphasis
Replace the word
emphasises
on
Change preposition
apply
success
happens for a reason. Many parents
experiences
hardship and struggle in their past and they viewed that intensive Wrong verb form
experienced
competitions
in Fix the agreement mistake
competition
todays'
world is as scary as war Change noun form
today's
do
. In order to be outstanding among others, they must Correct subject-verb agreement
does
be succeed
in some ways for Change the verb form
succeed
parents
to relieve about their child's future.
As a consequences
, Correct the article-noun agreement
consequence
this
could bring about two side
of agreements. Change to a plural noun
sides
Firstly
, many might agree that this
can fostering
Change the verb form
foster
be fostering
children
to slowly adapt to the
adulthood without being Correct article usage
apply
sugar coating
as the real world is much more cruel Correct your spelling
sugarcoated
for
them. It Change preposition
to
also
a way to teach them to manage Add a missing verb
is also
with
stress and obstacles on their own. Change preposition
apply
However
, others might opposed
that Change the verb form
oppose
be opposed
this
can leads
to overexpose of stress for the Change the verb form
lead
children
as they are not mature enough, making them to
become Change the verb form
apply
depend
on their Replace the word
dependent
parents
.
Therefore
, I personally argue in favour of negative
side seeing that Correct article usage
the negative
children
are vulnerable to stress and this
could make them t
In summary, although
it is undeniable that parents
put so much effort on their children
to be success
as a fear of their own pasts. Replace the word
successful
While
pressurizing on
Change preposition
apply
children
for success
can be positively viewed as a transient phase for adulthood, I am of the opinion that this
can bring about detrimental effect
on them like the loss of Fix the agreement mistake
effects
automy
and mental breakdown from being stressed out.Correct your spelling
autonomy
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Further clarity and expansion of your ideas would strengthen your essay. Make sure each paragraph focuses clearly on a single idea or argument, with each point being fully explained and developed.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents both sides of the argument regarding parents putting pressure on their children, which shows a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address the topic directly, acknowledging both positive and negative outcomes of parental pressure.
Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.