It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
While
some people are of the opinion that taking risk
both in their professional lives and their particular lives provides more negative than positive points. In my opinion, even though it might affect something, I believe that there are Fix the agreement mistake
risks
variety
of benefits.
Add an article
a variety
To begin
with professional lives at work. Weighting possibility
to try something new enables you to realize what you are capable of. Correct article usage
the possibility
Therefore
, you could discover new skills and improve it
to better quality. Even if you fail, you could learn Correct pronoun usage
them
snd
memorize the mistakes to develop into the best version. Taking risks could make you achieve Correct your spelling
and
the
new opportunities Correct article usage
apply
for example
getting promoted, new
project, Correct article usage
a new
meeting
new people. You could find the other occupation you are interested Correct word choice
or meeting
to
or perceive diverse social Change preposition
in
group
by chances of taking Fix the agreement mistake
groups
risk
.
Moving to Fix the agreement mistake
risks
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
life
, trying
new things means you could Correct word choice
and trying
other
options you have never chosen before. It allows you to encounter different situations which could be better or worse, but both consequences teach you the advantages and disadvantages. If you find the positive side of it, you will notice the method or process to make your Add a missing verb
have other
life
more convenient. However
, the drawbacks could also
offer
you to see the fault and educate yourself to not make the same error again.
Verb problem
allow
To conclude
everything that has been stated so far, there are many advantages of taking risks in both daily life
and professional life
. In my perspective, I believe that it has more benefits to count the possibilities and try new thingsSubmitted by esaraica on
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task achievement
Try to strengthen your arguments by providing more specific examples, particularly regarding professional and personal life risks.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion. Consider using more linking words and phrases to connect ideas clearly.
language accuracy
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can be improved. Reviewing basic grammar rules and structures will help in creating a smoother reading experience.
introduction conclusion
You presented a well-organized introduction and conclusion that frames the essay nicely.
clarity relevance
You've done a good job in identifying and explaining multiple aspects of taking risks in both professional and personal contexts.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.