Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that businesses mainly benefit.
It is often held that
major
advantage of global cooperation is Correct article usage
the major
about
Change preposition
apply
the
ecosystem protection. Correct article usage
apply
However
, some individuals argue that business is the main gain. In this
essay, both
of these views will be discussed and supported by convincing opinions.
On the one hand, sustaining biodiversity in the country
can force and inspire other developing nations who are suffering from dangerous environmental conditions. Likewise
, by supporting each other at international levels they can offer green innovations to alleviate the drawbacks caused by climate change. Moreover
, protecting the environment in a nation can attract global interest and enhance the country
's reputation. For example
, the existence of "Moodeng," the famous hippopotamus in Thailand, highlights the country
's dedication to preserve
wildlife. It not only boosts tourism but Change the verb form
preserving
also
raises awareness people
worldwide.
Change preposition
among people
On the other hand
, there were numerous benefits in business part to improve national cooperation. The most significant effect is the boost to a country
's economy. For instance
, when other nations invest in a country
, it brings advanced innovations and technologies. This
can enhance the capabilities of the country
, and the nations that invest will also
yield profits. As a result
, both
countries will benefit. Furthermore
, exporting indigenous products from the country
to international markets will not only increase their appreciation but also
promote cultural
. It can Replace the word
culture
also
lead to the cooperation between the countries.
In conclusion, it is considered that both
views are reasonable, in my perspective, I reckon that we should prioritize the
Correct article usage
apply
environment
protection since it can lead to Replace the word
environmental
long term
advantages for Add a hyphen
long-term
both
our planet and society. Even though these may not boost immediate
Correct article usage
the immediate
economic
compared to business, I believe that the benefits outweigh Replace the word
economy
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
Submitted by esaraica on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph clearly supports your main argument. While the essay touches on relevant points, some ideas could be better connected to the main thesis to enhance persuasiveness.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. The example of 'Moodeng' is useful, but more detailed cases would strengthen your points overall.
coherence cohesion
Consider revising some sentence structures for clarity. Occasionally, sentences are complex and could be broken down for greater clarity.
task achievement
The essay provides a well-rounded view of the topic, discussing both environmental and business benefits of international cooperation.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear thesis and summarizing the arguments presented.
task achievement
You have a solid grasp of vocabulary related to international cooperation and environmental issues, which adds depth to your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?