Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that businesses mainly benefit.

#people #benefit #cooperation #protection #environment #businesses

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It is often held that

major

Correct article usage

the major

show examples

advantage of global cooperation is

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ecosystem protection.

However

Linking Words

, some individuals argue that business is the main gain. In

this

Linking Words

essay,

both

Use synonyms

of these views will be discussed and supported by convincing opinions. On the one hand, sustaining biodiversity in the

country

Use synonyms

can force and inspire other developing nations who are suffering from dangerous environmental conditions.

Likewise

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, by supporting each other at international levels they can offer green innovations to alleviate the drawbacks caused by climate change.

Moreover

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, protecting the environment in a nation can attract global interest and enhance the

country

Use synonyms

's reputation.

For example

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, the existence of "Moodeng," the famous hippopotamus in Thailand, highlights the

country

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's dedication to

preserve

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preserving

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wildlife. It not only boosts tourism but

also

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raises awareness

people

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among people

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worldwide.

On the other hand

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, there were numerous benefits in business part to improve national cooperation. The most significant effect is the boost to a

country

Use synonyms

's economy.

For instance

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, when other nations invest in a

country

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, it brings advanced innovations and technologies.

This

Linking Words

can enhance the capabilities of the

country

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, and the nations that invest will

also

Linking Words

yield profits.

As a result

Linking Words

both

Use synonyms

countries will benefit.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, exporting indigenous products from the

country

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to international markets will not only increase their appreciation but

also

Linking Words

promote

cultural

Replace the word

culture

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. It can

also

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lead to the cooperation between the countries. In conclusion, it is considered that

both

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views are reasonable, in my perspective, I reckon that we should prioritize

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

environment

Replace the word

environmental

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protection since it can lead to

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

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advantages for

both

Use synonyms

our planet and society. Even though these may not boost

immediate

Correct article usage

the immediate

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economic

Replace the word

economy

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compared to business, I believe that the benefits outweigh

drawbacks

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the drawbacks

show examples

Submitted by esaraica on Sat Nov 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that every paragraph clearly supports your main argument. While the essay touches on relevant points, some ideas could be better connected to the main thesis to enhance persuasiveness.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your arguments. The example of 'Moodeng' is useful, but more detailed cases would strengthen your points overall.

coherence cohesion

Consider revising some sentence structures for clarity. Occasionally, sentences are complex and could be broken down for greater clarity.

task achievement

The essay provides a well-rounded view of the topic, discussing both environmental and business benefits of international cooperation.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear thesis and summarizing the arguments presented.

task achievement

You have a solid grasp of vocabulary related to international cooperation and environmental issues, which adds depth to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that businesses mainly benefit.

Your opinion

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?