Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behavior. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, there are two opinions
differ
on whether violent content is harmful or not. Some Correct pronoun usage
that differ
people
believe the
fictional Correct your spelling
that
violence
is simply an
entertainment, Remove the article
apply
while
others argue that this
kind of content is a trigger of violent behavior
. In my opinion, I claim that Change the spelling
behaviour
violence
production should be strictly regulated as it could diffuse detrimental impact
on Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
idividuals
.
On the one hand, Correct your spelling
individuals
the
fictional Correct article usage
apply
violence
on
media is merely Change preposition
in
an
entertainment for some viewers. In the television and movie industries today, many of the Correct article usage
apply
productions
are related to violence
, such
as crime movies and war series. These productions
not only expose violence
to the screen but also
convey significant lessons for
Change preposition
to
public
, introducing the aftermaths of breaking Correct article usage
the public
law
and war reflections. Correct article usage
the law
As a result
, these visual
Change the determiner
this visual violence
violence
are
harmless for society and Correct subject-verb agreement
is
moreover
, they
could bring excitement and amusement to the audiences. Studies reveal that action movies and Correct pronoun usage
it
fictions
often top the list among TV programs and the movie ranking. Owing to Fix the agreement mistake
fiction
this
phenomenon, we can deduce that this
kind of content draws more public attention and it
is not associated Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
Change preposition
with
crime
rate.
Add an article
the crime
On the contrary
, some voices are againest
the argument above, as they believe that Correct your spelling
against
the
violent Correct article usage
apply
productions
make people
mimic and underrate the seriousness of violence
. The fictions ofthen
exaggerate their contents in order to attract more audiences. Correct your spelling
then
Therefore
, there are bloody scenes and killing images protrayed
on screens. If kids are exposed to Correct your spelling
portrayed
violence
, they might be curious and try to imitate the scenes in virtual
world. Add an article
the virtual
a virtual
Hence
, this
would boost the possibilities
of teenagers Fix the agreement mistake
possibility
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
the
crimes as their minds are not yet mature. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, violence
Replace the word
violent
productions
bring
Verb problem
make
people
confusion
Replace the word
confused
of
what exactly is harmful, as they usually portray that heroes always survive Change preposition
about
from
injuries or Change preposition
apply
being
unstoppable in the fights. From my perspective, violent fictions always make me feel uncomfortable, and the blood and injuries are presented too often in the Wrong verb form
are
story lines
, which is terrifying. I assert that Correct your spelling
storylines
this
violence
expose
should be regulated and should not be prevalent in the movie/TV industries.
In conclusion, Change the verb form
exposes
although
the
fictional Correct article usage
apply
violence
can be entertainment for some people
, bringing them amusement
of watching TV and movies. I personally believe that these Correct article usage
the amusement
productions
are harmful for
Change the preposition
to
humane
mental health, Correct your spelling
human
protentially
increasing criminal Correct your spelling
potentially
behavior
.Change the spelling
behaviour
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task achievement
Try to provide more concrete examples or statistics to back up your arguments, especially when discussing studies or research.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that ideas flow smoothly by using more linking words or phrases, enhancing coherence between and within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
Both perspectives of the debate are presented fairly and clearly.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example