Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behavior. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #violence #television #entertainment #behavior

Nowadays, there are two opinions

differ

Correct pronoun usage

that differ

show examples

on whether violent content is harmful or not. Some

people

believe

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

fictional

violence

is simply

Remove the article

apply

show examples

entertainment,

while

others argue that

this

kind of content is a trigger of violent

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. In my opinion, I claim that

violence

production should be strictly regulated as it could diffuse detrimental

impact

Fix the agreement mistake

impacts

show examples

idividuals

Correct your spelling

individuals

. On the one hand,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fictional

violence

Change preposition

show examples

media is merely

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

entertainment for some viewers. In the television and movie industries today, many of the

productions

are related to

violence

such

as crime movies and war series. These

productions

not only expose

violence

to the screen but

also

convey significant lessons

for

Change preposition

show examples

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

, introducing the aftermaths of breaking

law

Correct article usage

the law

show examples

and war reflections.

As a result

these visual

Change the determiner

this visual violence

show examples

violence

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

harmless for society and

moreover

they

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

could bring excitement and amusement to the audiences. Studies reveal that action movies and

fictions

Fix the agreement mistake

fiction

show examples

often top the list among TV programs and the movie ranking. Owing to

this

phenomenon, we can deduce that

this

kind of content draws more public attention and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is not associated

Change preposition

with

show examples

crime

Add an article

the crime

show examples

rate.

On the contrary

, some voices are

againest

Correct your spelling

against

the argument above, as they believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violent

productions

make

people

mimic and underrate the seriousness of

violence

. The fictions

ofthen

Correct your spelling

then

exaggerate their contents in order to attract more audiences.

Therefore

, there are bloody scenes and killing images

protrayed

Correct your spelling

portrayed

on screens. If kids are exposed to

violence

, they might be curious and try to imitate the scenes in

virtual

Add an article

the virtual

a virtual

show examples

world.

Hence

this

would boost the

possibilities

Fix the agreement mistake

possibility

show examples

of teenagers

commiting

Correct your spelling

committing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes as their minds are not yet mature.

Moreover

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

productions

bring

Verb problem

make

show examples

people

confusion

Replace the word

confused

show examples

Change preposition

about

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what exactly is harmful, as they usually portray that heroes always survive

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

injuries or

being

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

unstoppable in the fights. From my perspective, violent fictions always make me feel uncomfortable, and the blood and injuries are presented too often in the

story lines

Correct your spelling

storylines

show examples

, which is terrifying. I assert that

this

violence

expose

Change the verb form

exposes

show examples

should be regulated and should not be prevalent in the movie/TV industries. In conclusion,

although

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fictional

violence

can be entertainment for some

people

, bringing them

amusement

Correct article usage

the amusement

show examples

of watching TV and movies. I personally believe that these

productions

are harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

humane

Correct your spelling

human

show examples

mental health,

protentially

Correct your spelling

potentially

increasing criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Submitted by a0979181071 on Sat Nov 02 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more concrete examples or statistics to back up your arguments, especially when discussing studies or research.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that ideas flow smoothly by using more linking words or phrases, enhancing coherence between and within paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion effectively.

task achievement

Both perspectives of the debate are presented fairly and clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

377 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behavior. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleeo?

In recent years, many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices. To what extend do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places?