Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behavior. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, there are two opinions

differ

Correct pronoun usage

that differ

show examples

on whether violent content is harmful or not. Some

people

Use synonyms

believe

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

fictional

violence

Use synonyms

is simply

Remove the article

apply

show examples

entertainment,

while

Linking Words

others argue that

this

Linking Words

kind of content is a trigger of violent

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. In my opinion, I claim that

violence

Use synonyms

production should be strictly regulated as it could diffuse detrimental

impact

Fix the agreement mistake

impacts

show examples

idividuals

Correct your spelling

individuals

. On the one hand,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fictional

violence

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

media is merely

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

entertainment for some viewers. In the television and movie industries today, many of the

productions

Use synonyms

are related to

violence

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as crime movies and war series. These

productions

Use synonyms

not only expose

violence

Use synonyms

to the screen but

also

Linking Words

convey significant lessons

for

Change preposition

show examples

public

Correct article usage

the public

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, introducing the aftermaths of breaking

law

Correct article usage

the law

show examples

and war reflections.

As a result

Linking Words

these visual

Change the determiner

this visual violence

show examples

violence

Use synonyms

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

harmless for society and

moreover

Linking Words

they

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

could bring excitement and amusement to the audiences. Studies reveal that action movies and

fictions

Fix the agreement mistake

fiction

show examples

often top the list among TV programs and the movie ranking. Owing to

this

Linking Words

phenomenon, we can deduce that

this

Linking Words

kind of content draws more public attention and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is not associated

Change preposition

with

show examples

crime

Add an article

the crime

show examples

rate.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, some voices are

againest

Correct your spelling

against

the argument above, as they believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violent

productions

Use synonyms

make

people

Use synonyms

mimic and underrate the seriousness of

violence

Use synonyms

. The fictions

ofthen

Correct your spelling

then

exaggerate their contents in order to attract more audiences.

Therefore

Linking Words

, there are bloody scenes and killing images

protrayed

Correct your spelling

portrayed

on screens. If kids are exposed to

violence

Use synonyms

, they might be curious and try to imitate the scenes in

virtual

Add an article

the virtual

a virtual

show examples

world.

Hence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

would boost the

possibilities

Fix the agreement mistake

possibility

show examples

of teenagers

commiting

Correct your spelling

committing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes as their minds are not yet mature.

Moreover

Linking Words

Use synonyms

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

productions

Use synonyms

bring

Verb problem

make

show examples

people

Use synonyms

confusion

Replace the word

confused

show examples

Change preposition

about

show examples

what exactly is harmful, as they usually portray that heroes always survive

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

injuries or

being

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

unstoppable in the fights. From my perspective, violent fictions always make me feel uncomfortable, and the blood and injuries are presented too often in the

story lines

Correct your spelling

storylines

show examples

, which is terrifying. I assert that

this

Linking Words

violence

Use synonyms

expose

Change the verb form

exposes

show examples

should be regulated and should not be prevalent in the movie/TV industries. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fictional

violence

Use synonyms

can be entertainment for some

people

Use synonyms

, bringing them

amusement

Correct article usage

the amusement

show examples

of watching TV and movies. I personally believe that these

productions

Use synonyms

are harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

humane

Correct your spelling

human

show examples

mental health,

protentially

Correct your spelling

potentially

increasing criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

a0979181071Sat Nov 02 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more concrete examples or statistics to back up your arguments, especially when discussing studies or research.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that ideas flow smoothly by using more linking words or phrases, enhancing coherence between and within paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion effectively.

task achievement

Both perspectives of the debate are presented fairly and clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

377 words

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Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behavior. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Today more and more people want things instantly (ex: goods, service, new). Why is this ? It is positive or negative development?

Technology is being used more and more in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?