With the improvements in today's health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, society is responsible
to take
Change preposition
for taking
care
of old individuals due to
the developments in health
system. In my opinion, the problem of Add an article
the health
a health
rise
in Correct article usage
the rise
number
of old people could be solved Change the article
a number
the number
by
several ways Change preposition
in
such
as establishing specific health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
care
organization
for them and considering nurses and doctors to visit them at home.
One of the ways to address Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
this
issue is estabilishing
new hospitals and Correct your spelling
establishing
health
care
centers
in order to service elderly people Change the spelling
centres
this
leads them to have faster Correct pronoun usage
which
sevices
. One of the contributory factors to increasing their Correct your spelling
services
overall
well-being is fast and feasible access to the
Correct article usage
apply
health
facilities. Additionally
,this
Correct determiner usage
these
health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
care
centers
can take Change the spelling
centres
care
of those who are not able to deal with their basic needs and need someone to take care
of them. For example
, there are some centers
, which provide facilities and Change the spelling
centres
health
services for those elderly who are not able to care
themself
.
Another way to tackle Change preposition
for themself
this
problem is to allocate doctors and nurses in order to visit the seniors at their own home
. Fix the agreement mistake
homes
This
cooperate
Change the verb form
cooperates
them
to Change preposition
with them
monitore
their Correct your spelling
monitor
health
situation without waiting in lines for considerable hours. For instance
, in some countries
there are some Add a comma
countries,
organization
, which send nurses and doctors to old people's homes for Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
checkup
regularly.
In Fix the agreement mistake
checkups
conclustion
, there are considerable advancements in Correct your spelling
conclusion
health
systems and citizens are responsible to
Change preposition
for caring
care
the senior citizens. In order to address the issue of rise
in Correct article usage
the rise
old
Correct article usage
the old
populatipn
, some Correct your spelling
population
populations
organization
should be constructed to facilitate their access and more medical staff should be considered.Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
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task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Use clear and varied linking words to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Consider explaining the impacts of your solutions more thoroughly to enhance the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion that guide the reader effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the question and provides suggestions for managing the rising number of elderly people.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph centers around a main idea and presents related sub-points.