In many cities, many people do not know their neighbours and lack a sense of community. What are the causes? How to solve this problem? (2012.06.16) (9/24/2016) (2018/7/19)
As
time
passes, many people
who live in cities start to feel detached from their neighbours and community
. I will illustrate the causes and solutions for this
situation in this
essay.
The main factor is the individualist mindset
has been building up in people
’s minds. With the rapid development of society, people
are getting more and more busy than before, especially in the young generation. For example
, after finishing the whole day’s stressful work, they don't have the time
or energy to socialise with their community
. Hence
, people
tend to spend most of their spare time
focusing on themselves rather than the community
.
People
are losing interest in socialising with people
in their community
. The ignorance of people
in the same community
leads to the reduction of communication. When the time
people
treat each other like strangers, there is no chance for them to find out their common interests to keep the friendship with each other.
To fix the problem internally, changing the mindset
of observing the community
is beneficial for every community
member. By being close to community
members, people
would feel a greater sense of security, inclusion and conviction, enabling them to release themselves when the time
they feel passive.
At the same time
, encourage organise more community
events and participate. By participating in community
events or celebrating the holiday together, people
get a great chance to get to know each other better, which lays the foundation for friendship and promotes the possibility of interaction between people
. Take Halloween as an example, trick-or-treating with the kids or decorating the house with the neighbours on Halloween.
To sum up
, the main reasons that cause this
detachment are an individualist mindset
and losing interest in socialising with people
in the community
. However
, there are various ways to solve them and encourage people
to change their mindset
by observing the benefits led by the community
and encouraging active participation in community
activities.Submitted by l2334993624 on
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task achievement
Define and articulate ideas on the general benefit of community engagement more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth progression of ideas to enhance logical structure.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies causes of the issue, such as the individualist mindset and lack of interest in community involvement.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the Halloween example, which supports the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a strong introduction and conclusion which frame the essay well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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