IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

What are not satisfied with the changing rooms in a sports center that you visit. Write a letter to the sports center manager. In your letter: -Explain the problem. -Say how you feel about this problem. -Say what steps you would like the manager to take.

#rooms #sports #center #visit #manager #-explain #-say #steps
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that currently I
used
Wrong verb form
am using
show examples
 the changing rooms in your
sports
 centre and I am not satisfied with the service. Recently, I had a
sports
tournment
Correct your spelling
tournament
 of basketball in your
sports
 centre but I have a college exam on that day
also
. So, after when I returned from
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
college and went to
room
Correct pronoun usage
my room
show examples
 to change my clothes, I
feel
Wrong verb form
felt
show examples
 discomfort. Actually, I felt so uncomfortable at that time because the door lock was not working properly and I
feel
Wrong verb form
felt
show examples
 unsafe
while
 changing clothes as there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 so many people outside the
sports
 room. I request you to please check
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all the locks of the doors as it is very important so that all the participants feel safe
while
 changing their clothes. Yours faithfully, Simranjeet
kaur
Change the capitalization
Kaur
show examples
Submitted by yuvrajsinghsaggu200703 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structures for clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Keep paragraphs focused on single ideas to enhance clarity.
task achievement
The letter covers all the required points: explanation of the problem, feelings about it, and a suggestion for the center manager.
task achievement
The tone is polite and formal, which is appropriate for addressing a manager.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate for a formal letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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