People think that a hundred years ago, the human race was steadily improving in every area of life. Nowadays, there is no certainty of this case. In which areas do you think we have made important progress nowadays? In which areas do think we still need to make progress?

According to
many, a
cantury
Correct your spelling
century
ago, humanity kept improving to some
extend
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extent
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in all aspects of life,
while
the enhancement is vague today. Advancements in both technology and space sustain.
However
, we still need to progress in human rights and
medicine
. The world has been the scene of massive
progresses
Change the wording
progress
signs of progress
show examples
. Owing to the evolution of physics, chemistry, and
medicine
, the earth is smaller, people are healthier, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life is easier. Yet, we still have
long
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a long
show examples
way to go. Thanks to meticulous
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
been carried out,
human
Correct article usage
the human
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race
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
experiencing breaking points,
such
as artificial intelligence, and
discovery
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the discovery
show examples
of exoplanets. In terms of artificial intelligence, the industry has increased its efficiency. Calculations are more
of
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apply
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correct, and production is more
of
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apply
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time efficient. When it comes to space explorations,
numeorus
Correct your spelling
numerous
exoplanets and extraterrestrial
object
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objects
show examples
have been found.
This
shift has soared our understanding of the universe. Now, we are very close to
find
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finding
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alternative
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an alternative
the alternative
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planet to live.
Nevertheless
, the period of progress cannot be considered as completed. We still need massive enhancements
in particular
branches,
such
as
medicine
and human rights.
For instance
, cancer is still of paramount threat to individuals. Even though some milestones have been passed, doctors could not cure the stem problem.
Moreover
, we keep encountering conflicts between nations. In
such
a context, thousands of individuals have lost their lives.
This
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These
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conflicts must be ended by implementing strict international laws. In conclusion, in terms of technology and space,
overall
progress continues; but, humanity needs additional advancements in both
medicine
and human rights.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure your paragraphs follow a more logical order to enhance readability.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, you could elaborate more on specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
grammar accuracy
There are some minor grammatical errors and typos, like "cantury" instead of "century" and "numeorus" instead of "numerous." Be sure to proofread your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively outline and summarize the main points of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both areas of progress and areas needing improvement, which aligns well with the task.
task achievement
The mention of advancements such as artificial intelligence and space exploration adds depth to your arguments.

Your opinion

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