IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People think that a hundred years ago, the human race was steadily improving in every area of life. Nowadays, there is no certainty of this case. In which areas do you think we have made important progress nowadays? In which areas do think we still need to make progress?

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According to
Linking Words
 many, a
cantury
Correct your spelling
century
 ago, humanity kept improving to some
extend
Replace the word
extent
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 in all aspects of life,
while
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 the enhancement is vague today. Advancements in both technology and space sustain.
However
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, we still need to progress in human rights and
medicine
Use synonyms
. The world has been the scene of massive
progresses
Change the wording
progress
signs of progress
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. Owing to the evolution of physics, chemistry, and
medicine
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, the earth is smaller, people are healthier, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life is easier. Yet, we still have
long
Add an article
a long
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 way to go. Thanks to meticulous
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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 that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been carried out,
human
Correct article usage
the human
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 race
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
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 experiencing breaking points,
such
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 as artificial intelligence, and
discovery
Correct article usage
the discovery
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 of exoplanets. In terms of artificial intelligence, the industry has increased its efficiency. Calculations are more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
correct, and production is more
of
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apply
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time efficient. When it comes to space explorations,
numeorus
Correct your spelling
numerous
 exoplanets and extraterrestrial
object
Fix the agreement mistake
objects
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 have been found.
This
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 shift has soared our understanding of the universe. Now, we are very close to
find
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finding
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alternative
Add an article
an alternative
the alternative
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 planet to live.
Nevertheless
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, the period of progress cannot be considered as completed. We still need massive enhancements
in particular
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 branches,
such
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 as
medicine
Use synonyms
 and human rights.
For instance
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, cancer is still of paramount threat to individuals. Even though some milestones have been passed, doctors could not cure the stem problem.
Moreover
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, we keep encountering conflicts between nations. In
such
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 a context, thousands of individuals have lost their lives.
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This
Correct determiner usage
These
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 conflicts must be ended by implementing strict international laws. In conclusion, in terms of technology and space,
overall
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 progress continues; but, humanity needs additional advancements in both
medicine
Use synonyms
 and human rights.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure your paragraphs follow a more logical order to enhance readability.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, you could elaborate more on specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
grammar accuracy
There are some minor grammatical errors and typos, like "cantury" instead of "century" and "numeorus" instead of "numerous." Be sure to proofread your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively outline and summarize the main points of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both areas of progress and areas needing improvement, which aligns well with the task.
task achievement
The mention of advancements such as artificial intelligence and space exploration adds depth to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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