People think that a hundred years ago, the human race was steadily improving in every area of life. Nowadays, there is no certainty of this case. In which areas do you think we have made important progress nowadays? In which areas do think we still need to make progress?
According to
many, a cantury
ago, humanity kept improving to some Correct your spelling
century
extend
in all aspects of life, Replace the word
extent
while
the enhancement is vague today. Advancements in both technology and space sustain. However
, we still need to progress in human rights and medicine
.
The world has been the scene of massive progresses
. Owing to the evolution of physics, chemistry, and Change the wording
progress
signs of progress
medicine
, the earth is smaller, people are healthier, and the
life is easier. Yet, we still have Correct article usage
apply
long
way to go. Thanks to meticulous Add an article
a long
researches
that Fix the agreement mistake
research
have
been carried out, Correct subject-verb agreement
has
human
race Correct article usage
the human
keep
experiencing breaking points, Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
such
as artificial intelligence, and discovery
of exoplanets. In terms of artificial intelligence, the industry has increased its efficiency. Calculations are more Correct article usage
the discovery
of
correct, and production is more Change preposition
apply
of
time efficient. When it comes to space explorations, Change preposition
apply
numeorus
exoplanets and extraterrestrial Correct your spelling
numerous
object
have been found. Fix the agreement mistake
objects
This
shift has soared our understanding of the universe. Now, we are very close to find
Change the verb form
finding
alternative
planet to live.
Add an article
an alternative
the alternative
Nevertheless
, the period of progress cannot be considered as completed. We still need massive enhancements in particular
branches, such
as medicine
and human rights. For instance
, cancer is still of paramount threat to individuals. Even though some milestones have been passed, doctors could not cure the stem problem. Moreover
, we keep encountering conflicts between nations. In such
a context, thousands of individuals have lost their lives. This
conflicts must be ended by implementing strict international laws.
In conclusion, in terms of technology and space, Correct determiner usage
These
overall
progress continues; but, humanity needs additional advancements in both medicine
and human rights.Submitted by TUTOO on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure your paragraphs follow a more logical order to enhance readability.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, you could elaborate more on specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
grammar accuracy
There are some minor grammatical errors and typos, like "cantury" instead of "century" and "numeorus" instead of "numerous." Be sure to proofread your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively outline and summarize the main points of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both areas of progress and areas needing improvement, which aligns well with the task.
task achievement
The mention of advancements such as artificial intelligence and space exploration adds depth to your arguments.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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