"Prevention is better than cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree

It is often argued that examining and curing illnesses is extremely expensive;
thus
, it would be better to put money into inhibitory courses of action.
This
essay completely agrees with
this
view, because it makes
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
experience a smaller number of diseases and reduces healthcare costs for them.
Firstly
, funding procedures that prevent health issues could help
people
avoid going through hard times with their ailments. Taking
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
action before any type of disease spreads out can help mitigate its negative consequences;
as a result
, leading to a reduced time of exposure to these harmful ramifications.
For example
, in 2020, there was a contagious and lethal virus called Covid-19. When vaccination came out, many
people
took it;
consequently
, they circumvented potential threats. The second reason why preventative care should be prioritised is lowered healthcare
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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in the long run. Minimising the need for expensive treatments and hospitalisations leads to a healthier population and more efficient use of resources.
For instance
, impeded maladies would not only positively impact moderately or excessively rich residents but
also
poor
people
who have
difficult
Correct article usage
a difficult
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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sustaining themselves with their monthly wage; so it would be easier
on
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for
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them not to have
externally
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external
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and unnecessarily added obstacles with health issues. In conclusion, I strongly believe that more investment should be made in preventative measures to help
people
struggle less from illnesses and provide
overall
well-being;
also
, they will assist in lessening the burden
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
general
Add an article
the general
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population to pay excessive amounts of money for their health.
Submitted by sesili.kasrashvili7 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to maintain coherence.
task achievement
Ensure that each of your main ideas is fully developed with specific examples and details to enhance clarity and support.
task achievement
Double-check your grammar and vocabulary usage to minimize minor errors, even though they don't significantly impact your scoring.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively present and summarize the topic and your viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both the preventative measures and their impacts clearly.
task achievement
Each point you make is backed up with examples, particularly the reference to Covid-19 as a real-world preventive measure.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proactive
  • preventive measures
  • lifestyle diseases
  • public health
  • healthcare expenditure
  • cost-effective
  • chronic conditions
  • early detection
  • immunization
  • health promotion
  • risk factors
  • non-communicable diseases
  • disease surveillance
  • preventive diagnostics
  • health literacy
  • universal healthcare
  • primary prevention
  • secondary prevention
  • tertiary prevention
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