We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?
Recent
decade has changed our daily routines turbulently Add an article
The recent
due to
internet development and its prominency
. Correct your spelling
prominence
While
there are immense
number of advantages like permanent connection with family or Change the article
an immense
the immense
friend
, doing Fix the agreement mistake
friends
job
digitally and searching any information still, some people believe that because of Correct article usage
a job
lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
security
its benefits have Add a comma
security,
been
outweighed with disadvantages. I strongly disagree with them for two reasons: cybersecurity now is Unnecessary verb
apply
on
the highest level and you can secure your information safely and there are some protected applications where you can keep your details confidently.
Change preposition
at
Firstly
, in our contemporary world
it Add a comma
world,
became
essential to keep up with new technological updates like IOS 18 that programmers Wrong verb form
has become
suggests
, Change the verb form
suggest
consequently
, you would not be at a
risk of information hacking. Remove the article
apply
Additionally
, if you have some
business which requires more powerful protection you can hire IT secure professionals Correct determiner usage
a
which
will ensure Correct pronoun usage
who
about
your business’s privacy and guarding.
Change preposition
apply
Moreover
, software developers created applications like Instagram which is safer to use than Messenger for sending pictures due to
numerous choice
of sending pictures type. If you truly care about your privacy it is crucial to raise your awareness about some specific applications, its aim and security. If I had some personal picture to send I would definitely choose Instagram.
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
To sum up
, I assume that advantages
mentioned above like connection, digital Correct article usage
the advantages
job
and studies have outweighed online crimes that become frequent. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Although
, this
situation can be controlled by IT professionals and more protected application
which software developers can suggest.Fix the agreement mistake
applications
Submitted by sesili.kasrashvili7 on
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task response
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. While the essay provides some examples, they could be further developed with additional details and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Aim to make transitions between ideas smoother to enhance the overall flow. This can include using linking words or phrases to show the relationship between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure the argument effectively.
task response
The essay takes a clear stance on the topic and attempts to support it with reasons.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.