Social media has many positive uses, but there have been some negative consequences to it as well. Identify a problem caused by social media and describe the solutions you would propose to address this problem.
These days, technology has been developing really fast and some item like social
media
has a range of negative and positive factors that affect people
's lives
. This
essay discusses various matters that social media
has and how we can solve them.
Unfortunately, social media
impacts mental health and social behaviour. On the one side, people
who have activity on social media
such
as Instagram, Telegram and so on show the best sections of their lives
that everything is really well ; additionally
, they use
the brands' items and advertise them to other people
; however
, the public who follow these people
all the times compare their lives
with them; as a result
, they become sick owing to the fact that they cannot have the same lives
as the population who are in social media
. On the other side, people
who use
social media
do not spend their time
with their friends in the real world inasmuch as they either chat or call their friends, so their social behaviour, a consequence of having interaction with society, is reduced.
These problems can be solved by governments. On the one hand, I advise that governments play some events that teach people
how they live and the ways of improving their situations and they have to live with a better type of themselves not the same as influencers. On the other hand
, it is important that authorities create the position that inhabitants have limited time
they use
social media
and after that time
they do not have access; therefore
, they prefer to use
their social media
time
for essential elements and spend time
with their friends on public places.
To sum up
, social media
have some good points and bad points, but it is crucial that we learn the fact that using it for necessary times and alter communities' think that do not influence their lives
.Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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task achievement
Your essay introduces a clear problem caused by social media and proposes feasible solutions, thereby meeting the task requirements effectively. However, expanding on your examples and providing more detailed solutions would enhance task achievement further.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, main body, and conclusion. Enhancing the coherence between paragraphs by using transitional phrases would improve the flow between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point is well-supported with examples or detailed explanations. This could make your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
task achievement
You effectively identify a clear problem caused by social media and propose solutions to address it, fulfilling the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in understanding your argument.
task achievement
You provide a good balance between discussing the problems of social media and suggesting solutions, showing an understanding of both aspects.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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