IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing task 1
#minutes #bar #show #hours #teacher #schools #four #countries #report #university #lecturer #information #summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar graph provides How data on the
number
 of
teacher
Change to a plural noun
teachers
show examples
, who were spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001.
Overall
 it can be seen that the
teacher
 spent teaching in
various
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
four countries
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Japan
, Spain, Iceland and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
whereas
 there are categories of
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
such
 as primary, lower secondary, and secondary.
Furthermore
, the
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 spent teaching for upper secondary was consistently the highest, and that for primary teachers was always the lowest. Looking at the crop data in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
it is clear that
 the amount of
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 who were
spent
Verb problem
apply
show examples
teaching
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
show examples
 level
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was the
number
 of
hours
 600 in
Japan
.
This
number
 slightly
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 in Spain and the
number
 of
hours
 decreased
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 580
hours
whereas
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 the
number
 of
each
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 spent teaching
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
show examples
 level which was grew
up
Change preposition
by
show examples
 750
hours
. Turning to the remaining four data sets, it can be seen that the lower secondary
leves
Correct your spelling
level
levels
lives
 which was spent teaching in
Japan
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
number
 of
hours
 650
while
this
 value
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rose in Spain and
then
felt
Correct your spelling
fell
show examples
 to about 600
hour
Change to a plural noun
hours
show examples
 in Iceland. The
USA
 at
this
 value rapidly increased by the
number
 of
hours
 1000.
Finally
, the
teacher
 spent teaching for
uper
Correct your spelling
upper
super
 secondary was about the
number
 of
hours
 700 in
Japan
.
This
number
 gradually climbed to
approximiately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 1180
hours
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
.
Submitted by shahinhasan5615 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, teacher, japan, usa, hours with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar charts
  • number of hours
  • teaching
  • schools
  • countries
  • 2001
  • teachers
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • overview
  • average
  • year
  • difference
  • significant
  • range
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