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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what Anthropologie graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologist in work after five years

The chart below shows what Anthropologie graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologist in work after five years
#anthropologie #graduates #university #course #salaries #anthropologist #work #five #years
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The pie chart illustrates the situation of
graduates
 from a specific university in terms of jobs,
while
 the table focuses on the type of
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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employment and salaries after 5 years of work.
Firstly
, it can be seen that the
most
Correct word choice
highest
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 proportion of
graduates
 were able to find full-time jobs after graduation with
52
Correct article usage
a 52
show examples
% rate.
Moreover
,
after
this
 figure, the second biggest is part-time workers with 15 per cent
on
Change preposition
in
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 total.
On the other hand
, 12% of
graduates
 were totally jobless which is a little concerning.
Also
, the amount of people who started full-time postgrad studies was equal to the ones that are unknown. As for the table, freelance consultants and government sectors
,
Remove the comma
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 had exactly equal numbers in both
20k-49.99k
Correct article usage
the 20k-49.99k
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 and 50k-74.99k salary
range
Fix the agreement mistake
ranges
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 with 5 and 15 per cent respectively.
Secondly
, the same amount of
graduates
 were employed in 75000$-99999$ and +100000$ salary
range
 by 40%. Government sectors,
however
, have seen more changes in
this
range
 with 30% for 75k-99.99k and 50% for +100000k, which means
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
better results.
To sum up
, the amount of employees in different salary ranges in private companies varied more and most of the workers were
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
50
Correct article usage
the 50
show examples
 to 75k
range
 by 35 per cent.
Submitted by Taha Sol. on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, k, range with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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