Write about the following topic: A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In our modern day and age, some
people
think that a person's value in a
Correct article usage
apply
society
depends on the expensive objects to which social class they belong . While
others believe that people
who hold higher moral traits are better members of society
. In this
essay, I will discuss these points of view and give my opinion.
Most people
today use social media which shows the shiny and happy sides of rich, famous individuals. This
has led naive youngsters to believe that being materialistic and well-known in society
means success. For instance
, in South Korea,more than twenty million people
follow a famous model who promotes high-end brands' products for a living , while
expensive, lavish lifestyle. Furthermore
, it is commonly thought that a football player or an artist is likely to be known in society
and own and own expensive clothes compared to a scientist.
However
, while
having a higher social status and being wealthy can be considered forms of success, having moral values and higher social traits are essential elements for a well-developed society
. As such
, being honest in daily encounters with other members of the community promotes trust which in turn strengthens this
community. For example
, studies found that people
who are honest, kind and trustworthy tend to have healthy personal relationships and thriving careers. In addition
, individuals seek personal and financial interactions with people
who are known to have good personal traits.
In conclusion, while
fame and high status are set by society
as a measure for favourable outcomes, traditional moral values hold higher grounds in our day-to-day interactions and interpersonal exchanges. Thus
, it is vital to teach youngsters that not everything that shines is gold and the value of a person lies beyond their wealth and social status.Submitted by ghadeersulami on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, possibly adding linkers to guide the reader more seamlessly. This could improve the coherence and cohesion score.
task achievement
Expand on the conclusion a little more to reiterate your main points clearly. This would help reinforce your task response score.
task achievement
Although your essay covers the main points, adding one more specific example could make it stronger and improve the task response.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task statement, presenting both sides of the argument and a personal opinion, thus achieving the task well.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure with a good introduction, body, and conclusion, contributing positively to coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The inclusion of specific examples, such as the reference to South Korea and studies on personal relationships, strengthens your points well.