Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can be international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?

#demand #food #measures #community

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It is true that there is a growing trend regarding food

demantion

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dimension

around the world. There

are

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show examples

myriad

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a myriad

show examples

of reasons lead

this

Linking Words

problem

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However

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, I believe if some steps

will be

Wrong verb form

are

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taken at

governmental

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the governmental

show examples

level,

this

Linking Words

problem

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won't

be exist

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exist

show examples

anymore.

Firstly

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, human activities play a significant role

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show examples

destroying the environment. Our

nature

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is directly linked with seeds and plants which are

raw

Correct article usage

the raw

show examples

materials of our meals. We have already changed the

ecosystm

Correct your spelling

ecosystem

and climate.

Hence

Linking Words

, there are several plants

face

Correct pronoun usage

that face

show examples

extinction.

Secondly

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, people divide

farm

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areas into smaller pieces in order to build some kind of buildings

such

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as flats or factories etc.

Consequently

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, there are

less

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fewer

show examples

Use synonyms

farm lands

Correct your spelling

farmlands

show examples

and

also

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availaible

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available

areas for

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farm-animals

Correct your spelling

farm animals

show examples

like cows,

Correct word choice

and sheeps

show examples

sheeps

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sheep

show examples

. In my

opinion

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opinion,

show examples

authorities should adjust

laws

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about destroying

nature

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Although

Linking Words

there are already

plent

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plenty

laws

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related to protecting

nature

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, animals etc. they should put

soild

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solid

sold

laws

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such

Linking Words

as imprisonment.

In addition

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, international communities have to restrict man activities on farmlands.

Moreover

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, it would be better if they

will enhance

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enhanced

show examples

farm

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areas and

support

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supported

show examples

farmers

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with

show examples

weekly

Add an article

the weekly

a weekly

show examples

fee. In conclusion, it is a clear

problem

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that individuals and companies impact

nature

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and suitable

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farm lands

Correct your spelling

farmlands

show examples

negatively.

However

Linking Words

, I believe if

international

Correct article usage

the international

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community replace their actual

laws

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Change preposition

with

show examples

solid

laws

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this

Linking Words

problem

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will be tackled.

Submitted by aslikaratepe00 on Sun Nov 03 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Organize the ideas more clearly in each paragraph. Try to employ clear topic sentences and logical connectors to guide the reader through the argument.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to develop and support your main points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Revise some expressions and sentence structures to minimize errors and enhance clarity, such as 'there are myriad of reasons lead this problem.'

Task Achievement

You effectively highlighted the impact of human activities on the environment and agriculture, linking it to the food demand issue.

Task Achievement

Clear statement of the problem and a reasonable suggestion of governmental intervention.

Coherence and Cohesion

Good attempt at structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

215 words

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Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can be international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Learning at university would be more effective if men and women were educated separetely. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some businesses observe that new employees who just graduated from a college or university seem to lack the interpersonal skills needed for communication with their colleagues. What could be the reason for this? What solutions can help address this problem?

Youngsters are using more social media these days. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the youngsters?