Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can be international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?

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It is true that there is a growing trend regarding food

demantion

Correct your spelling

dimension

around the world. There

are

Change the verb form

show examples

myriad

Add an article

a myriad

show examples

of reasons lead

this

Linking Words

problem

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, I believe if some steps

will be

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

taken at

governmental

Correct article usage

the governmental

show examples

level,

this

Linking Words

problem

Use synonyms

won't

be exist

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exist

show examples

anymore.

Firstly

Linking Words

, human activities play a significant role

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show examples

destroying the environment. Our

nature

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is directly linked with seeds and plants which are

raw

Correct article usage

the raw

show examples

materials of our meals. We have already changed the

ecosystm

Correct your spelling

ecosystem

and climate.

Hence

Linking Words

, there are several plants

face

Correct pronoun usage

that face

show examples

extinction.

Secondly

Linking Words

, people divide

farm

Use synonyms

areas into smaller pieces in order to build some kind of buildings

such

Linking Words

as flats or factories etc.

Consequently

Linking Words

, there are

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

Use synonyms

farm lands

Correct your spelling

farmlands

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

availaible

Correct your spelling

available

areas for

Use synonyms

farm-animals

Correct your spelling

farm animals

show examples

like cows,

Correct word choice

and sheeps

show examples

sheeps

Correct your spelling

sheep

show examples

. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

authorities should adjust

laws

Use synonyms

about destroying

nature

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

there are already

plent

Correct your spelling

plenty

laws

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related to protecting

nature

Use synonyms

, animals etc. they should put

soild

Correct your spelling

solid

sold

laws

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such

Linking Words

as imprisonment.

In addition

Linking Words

, international communities have to restrict man activities on farmlands.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it would be better if they

will enhance

Wrong verb form

enhanced

show examples

farm

Use synonyms

areas and

support

Wrong verb form

supported

show examples

farmers

Change preposition

with

show examples

weekly

Add an article

the weekly

a weekly

show examples

fee. In conclusion, it is a clear

problem

Use synonyms

that individuals and companies impact

nature

Use synonyms

and suitable

Use synonyms

farm lands

Correct your spelling

farmlands

show examples

negatively.

However

Linking Words

, I believe if

international

Correct article usage

the international

show examples

community replace their actual

laws

Use synonyms

Change preposition

with

show examples

solid

laws

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

problem

Use synonyms

will be tackled.

aslikaratepe00Sun Nov 03 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Organize the ideas more clearly in each paragraph. Try to employ clear topic sentences and logical connectors to guide the reader through the argument.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to develop and support your main points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Revise some expressions and sentence structures to minimize errors and enhance clarity, such as 'there are myriad of reasons lead this problem.'

Task Achievement

You effectively highlighted the impact of human activities on the environment and agriculture, linking it to the food demand issue.

Task Achievement

Clear statement of the problem and a reasonable suggestion of governmental intervention.

Coherence and Cohesion

Good attempt at structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

215 words

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Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can be international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

IELTS 17 Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have on children as they get older?

More developing countries are being given aid by international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.