Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can be international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?

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It is true that there is a growing trend regarding food
demantion
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dimension
around the world. There
are
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is
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myriad
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a myriad
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of reasons lead
this
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problem
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.
However
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, I believe if some steps
will be
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are
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taken at
governmental
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the governmental
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level,
this
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problem
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won't
be exist
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exist
show examples
anymore.
Firstly
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, human activities play a significant role
on
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in
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destroying the environment. Our
nature
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is directly linked with seeds and plants which are
raw
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the raw
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materials of our meals. We have already changed the
ecosystm
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ecosystem
and climate.
Hence
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, there are several plants
face
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that face
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extinction.
Secondly
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, people divide
farm
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areas into smaller pieces in order to build some kind of buildings
such
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as flats or factories etc.
Consequently
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, there are
less
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fewer
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Use synonyms
farm lands
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farmlands
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and
also
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availaible
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available
areas for
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farm-animals
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farm animals
show examples
like cows,
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and sheeps
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sheeps
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sheep
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. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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authorities should adjust
laws
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about destroying
nature
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.
Although
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there are already
plent
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plenty
of
laws
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related to protecting
nature
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, animals etc. they should put
soild
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solid
sold
laws
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such
Linking Words
as imprisonment.
In addition
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, international communities have to restrict man activities on farmlands.
Moreover
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, it would be better if they
will enhance
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enhanced
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farm
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areas and
support
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supported
show examples
farmers
by
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with
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weekly
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the weekly
a weekly
show examples
fee. In conclusion, it is a clear
problem
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that individuals and companies impact
nature
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and suitable
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farm lands
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farmlands
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negatively.
However
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, I believe if
international
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the international
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community replace their actual
laws
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to
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with
show examples
solid
laws
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,
this
Linking Words
problem
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will be tackled.
Submitted by aslikaratepe00 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Organize the ideas more clearly in each paragraph. Try to employ clear topic sentences and logical connectors to guide the reader through the argument.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to develop and support your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revise some expressions and sentence structures to minimize errors and enhance clarity, such as 'there are myriad of reasons lead this problem.'
Task Achievement
You effectively highlighted the impact of human activities on the environment and agriculture, linking it to the food demand issue.
Task Achievement
Clear statement of the problem and a reasonable suggestion of governmental intervention.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good attempt at structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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