Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can be international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?
It is true that there is a growing trend regarding food
demantion
around the world. There Correct your spelling
dimension
are
Change the verb form
is
myriad
of reasons lead Add an article
a myriad
this
problem
. However
, I believe if some steps will be
taken at Wrong verb form
are
governmental
level, Correct article usage
the governmental
this
problem
won't be exist
anymore.
Change the verb form
exist
Firstly
, human activities play a significant role on
destroying the environment. Our Change preposition
in
nature
is directly linked with seeds and plants which are raw
materials of our meals. We have already changed the Correct article usage
the raw
ecosystm
and climate. Correct your spelling
ecosystem
Hence
, there are several plants face
extinction. Correct pronoun usage
that face
Secondly
, people divide farm
areas into smaller pieces in order to build some kind of buildings such
as flats or factories etc. Consequently
, there are less
Change the quantifier
fewer
farm lands
and Correct your spelling
farmlands
also
availaible
areas for Correct your spelling
available
farm-animals
like cows, Correct your spelling
farm animals
Correct word choice
and sheeps
sheeps
.
In my Correct your spelling
sheep
opinion
authorities should adjust Add a comma
opinion,
laws
about destroying nature
. Although
there are already plent
of Correct your spelling
plenty
laws
related to protecting nature
, animals etc. they should put soild
Correct your spelling
solid
sold
laws
such
as imprisonment. In addition
, international communities have to restrict man activities on farmlands. Moreover
, it would be better if they will enhance
Wrong verb form
enhanced
farm
areas and support
farmers Wrong verb form
supported
by
Change preposition
with
weekly
fee.
In conclusion, it is a clear Add an article
the weekly
a weekly
problem
that individuals and companies impact nature
and suitable farm lands
negatively. Correct your spelling
farmlands
However
, I believe if international
community replace their actual Correct article usage
the international
laws
to
solid Change preposition
with
laws
, this
problem
will be tackled.Submitted by aslikaratepe00 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize the ideas more clearly in each paragraph. Try to employ clear topic sentences and logical connectors to guide the reader through the argument.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to develop and support your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revise some expressions and sentence structures to minimize errors and enhance clarity, such as 'there are myriad of reasons lead this problem.'
Task Achievement
You effectively highlighted the impact of human activities on the environment and agriculture, linking it to the food demand issue.
Task Achievement
Clear statement of the problem and a reasonable suggestion of governmental intervention.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good attempt at structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!