Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can be international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?

#demand #food #measures #community

It is true that there is a growing trend regarding food

demantion

Correct your spelling

dimension

around the world. There

are

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show examples

myriad

Add an article

a myriad

show examples

of reasons lead

this

problem

However

, I believe if some steps

will be

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

taken at

governmental

Correct article usage

the governmental

show examples

level,

this

problem

won't

be exist

Change the verb form

exist

show examples

anymore.

Firstly

, human activities play a significant role

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show examples

destroying the environment. Our

nature

is directly linked with seeds and plants which are

raw

Correct article usage

the raw

show examples

materials of our meals. We have already changed the

ecosystm

Correct your spelling

ecosystem

and climate.

Hence

, there are several plants

face

Correct pronoun usage

that face

show examples

extinction.

Secondly

, people divide

farm

areas into smaller pieces in order to build some kind of buildings

such

as flats or factories etc.

Consequently

, there are

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

farm lands

Correct your spelling

farmlands

show examples

and

also

availaible

Correct your spelling

available

areas for

farm-animals

Correct your spelling

farm animals

show examples

like cows,

Correct word choice

and sheeps

show examples

sheeps

Correct your spelling

sheep

show examples

. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

authorities should adjust

laws

about destroying

nature

Although

there are already

plent

Correct your spelling

plenty

laws

related to protecting

nature

, animals etc. they should put

soild

Correct your spelling

solid

sold

laws

such

as imprisonment.

In addition

, international communities have to restrict man activities on farmlands.

Moreover

, it would be better if they

will enhance

Wrong verb form

enhanced

show examples

farm

areas and

support

Wrong verb form

supported

show examples

farmers

Change preposition

with

show examples

weekly

Add an article

the weekly

a weekly

show examples

fee. In conclusion, it is a clear

problem

that individuals and companies impact

nature

and suitable

farm lands

Correct your spelling

farmlands

show examples

negatively.

However

, I believe if

international

Correct article usage

the international

show examples

community replace their actual

laws

Change preposition

with

show examples

solid

laws

this

problem

will be tackled.

Submitted by aslikaratepe00 on Sun Nov 03 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Organize the ideas more clearly in each paragraph. Try to employ clear topic sentences and logical connectors to guide the reader through the argument.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to develop and support your main points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Revise some expressions and sentence structures to minimize errors and enhance clarity, such as 'there are myriad of reasons lead this problem.'

Task Achievement

You effectively highlighted the impact of human activities on the environment and agriculture, linking it to the food demand issue.

Task Achievement

Clear statement of the problem and a reasonable suggestion of governmental intervention.

Coherence and Cohesion

Good attempt at structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

215 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can be international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Describe how your primary school education looks like?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building the live in. What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

Water scarcity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? And what solutions can be done by individuals and the government?

Some believe that people today have no interests in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?